The Slice: Even picnic tables need protection

Here’s a late summer travel advisory.

“On a recent trip to North Dakota, we stopped at a rest area in Montana,” wrote Beth Hall of Spokane Valley. “I took the dog around back, where the dog run area is. There are some picnic tables there also.”

She encountered something unexpected.

“On one of the picnic tables there was a couple engaged in coitus.”

They appeared to be in their early 20s. And they were still dressed, more or less.

“They looked at me and I looked at them and they just smiled and kept about their business. I yelled, ‘Hey, you guys, knock it off!’ I then turned and left.”

Hall said that for the rest of the trip, she was a little apprehensive about taking the dog for a walk.

“Anyway, I learned a valuable lesson,” she concluded. “Do not eat on picnic tables without a tablecloth.”

Code talkers: So you’re having trouble coming up with a nickname for your boss? You want something slightly obscure but not over-the-top mean?

OK, here are a few suggestions.

Kid Gleason: After the admired if out-of-the-loop manager of the scandal-causing 1919 Chicago White Sox.

Mr. Milton: After the uninspiring bank president in “The Best Years of Our Lives.”

Sweet Sue: After the humorless band leader in “Some Like It Hot.”

J.J.: After the volatile newspaper editor in “Spider-Man.”

McClellan: After the Civil War general Lincoln eventually had to fire.

Sheldrake: After the philandering executive in “The Apartment.”

Starbuck: After the conflicted second-in-command in “Moby-Dick.”

Three thoughts one can have after watching the Thunderbirds: 1. “My, they are skilled pilots.” 2. “Now, that’s effective public relations! I feel the urge to support everything about the military and will encourage my elected officials to OK any defense appropriations requests that come before them.” 3. “What does this have to do with the grim reality of fighting wars?”

Today’s Slice question: What are the key differences between real-life bars and the bars depicted in beer commercials?