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Annie’s Mailbox: Adult son could’ve had more courtesy

Mon., Aug. 16, 2010

Dear Annie: A while ago, my husband, my adult son and I attended a family function in a different city. My husband left for home a day earlier, so my son and I ended up sharing a room before our early morning flight. That night there was a party to which he was invited.

I had a wonderful evening on my own. But by 2:30 a.m., my son still had not returned and there were no messages. I texted him, saying I hoped he was not wrapped around a tree. A few minutes later, he replied, saying he was on his way back.

The next morning, he could not understand why I was upset that he didn’t let me know when he planned to come home, nor was he willing to apologize for making me worry. He said he doesn’t let his girlfriend know if he’s going to be out late, so why should he tell me?

I think this is a basic lack of courtesy. But a friend of mine says I’m expecting too much, and that this is how today’s young adults function. I need to add that I think the world of my son. He’s funny, smart, loving and easy to talk with. So, Annie, am I expecting too much? – Wondering in Santa Fe, N.M.

Dear Santa Fe: No. Although your son is not obligated to tell you his whereabouts on a regular basis, it is a matter of consideration to do so when he is staying with you, since you would otherwise worry. He sounds like a great kid, so we are sure if you explain this to him, he will try harder not to cause needless anxiety to those he cares about.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.


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