The Slice: This smart cat obviously lacks common scents

It has been a suspenseful summer at my house.

My neighbor’s cat keeps getting into dust-ups with skunks. And we’re never sure when she is going to sneak into our house while in a highly aromatic state.

That’s bad. Really bad. If you have ever had a Pepe Le Pewed feline claim sanctuary in your home, you know why.

So lately, whenever we crack open the door when it’s mostly dark out, we hear that foreboding something-scary-is-coming music from “Jaws.”

Except, instead of a toothy great white shark looming out there in the gloaming, it’s a feisty gray cat. A cat who may or may not at that very moment be the reigning Queen of Odor.

Of course, when she makes the jump to warp speed she doesn’t need much of an opening to get in. Then it’s all over but the shouting: “Implement the emergency tuna-plate extraction protocols! Quick! I’m blacking out!”

We actually like this cat. But we would prefer that she arrange her visits for times when she does not reek.

You think I’m exaggerating?

Well, then answer me this. If we were not talking about truly stout, knock-you-back stinkage, why would this animal’s owner have begun sending e-mail alerts after her cat gets sprayed with another dose of skunk juice?

One recent e-mail subject line was “What’s that smell?”

It’s all rather baffling, because this cat is pretty smart. Her learning curve when it comes to skunks is unimpressive, however.

I suspect the pet next door will be spending more time in her house for the rest of the summer.

We’ll miss her, but maybe she could send us an e-mail now and then.

Today’s Slice question: Which rip-off of “My Favorite Martian” would you be most apt to watch?

A) “My Favorite Dropout.” B) “My Favorite Cultural Elitist.” C) “My Favorite Zags Fan.” D) “My Favorite Puppy Mill Operator.” E) “My Favorite Anonymous Online Flamer.” F) “My Favorite Marmot.” G) “My Favorite EWU Grad.” H) “My Favorite Uninformed Idiot.” I) “My Favorite All-You-Can-Eater.” J) Other.