December 6, 2010 in Features

Annie’s Mailbox: Don’t get between brother, his wife

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar
 

Dear Annie: For 30 years, my brother has been unhappily married to a horrible, selfish, evil woman who treats him terribly. Our entire family tolerates her only to keep the peace.

Recently, I found out that my brother is involved with a beautiful, kind woman I know. I don’t know what to do. While I can’t stand my sister-in-law, how do I condone his affair? My sister and brother are also aware that he is cheating, but they are in support of it. They want him to leave his awful wife. What should I do? – Caught in the Middle

Dear Caught: Nothing. This is not your business. Rather than take sides, encourage your brother to resolve the issues in his marriage. For whatever reasons, he has stayed with your sister-in-law for 30 years, and there may be more going on than you realize. He and his wife can seek counseling to work through their difficulties and perhaps improve their lives. And if he wants out of the marriage, he should be brave enough to get a divorce so he can see this “beautiful, kind woman” without turning it into some sordid affair that will eventually make them both miserable. Life is too short to spend it being unhappy when you have the choice to do otherwise.

Dear Annie: I would like to respond to the letter from “Lonely, but Afraid,” who had a terrible dating experience and now thinks all men want from her is sex.

For religious reasons, I was never sexually active, but I dated a lot. Anyone who didn’t respect my feelings about sex would be told to get lost. Here is a secret that has been lost: Men like the chase. Even now, some old boyfriends consider me “the one who got away” – and trust me, I am not that cute.

I waited for my husband. He appreciates the fact that I didn’t sleep with the entire world before we met. We have been married 10 happy years. – Waited in Pennsylvania


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