Arrow-right Camera

Saints’ Brees earns free trip to Denny’s

It wasn’t Giants-Patriots or Steelers-Cardinals, but Saints-Colts was almost scintillating and almost sensational. America is on the uptick; I’ll bet you even bin Laden was watching. With Super Bowls like this, we’re again a superpower with a smile, baby!

As usual, I viewed it all and took copious notes:

11:02 a.m.: Haven’t I seen CBS’s Jim Nantz and Peyton Manning together in a Sony commercial? And now they’re together at Super Bowl 44 – what a small world!

11:11: Pam Tebow does commercial celebrating her son Tim. I’m still concerned about his arm strength.

12:27 p.m.: Pizza Hut advertises “any pizza, any size, any crust, any toppings – just $10.” Then, in small print, it says, “additional charge for stuffed crust pizza.” Uh, so it’s not any pizza, any crust blah blah blah. That’s America.

1:35: Katie Couric interviews President Barack Obama. What, Shannon Sharpe can’t do double duty?

2:34: Sharpe: “As you look at these guys warming up on the field, they know it’s about football now.” As opposed to forensic science.

2:52: If the E*Trade baby replaced Norman Esiason, what would we lose?

3:23: Nantz: “Coming up, the coin toss!” Oh, they’re going to fit a game in?

(Fast Fact: According to the Wall Street Journal, there are 106 pets in the U.S. – out of a 475,000-animal database – named after Peyton Manning and 32 named after Drew Brees. None is named Norv.)

3:44: Could’ve sworn I saw Peyton running the no-huddle while shopping at Safeway the other day.

3:45: When Peyton tells his kids bedtime stories, I wonder if he changes them as he goes along.

3:46: During rush hour, you’ve got to figure Peyton directs traffic.

4:41: Saints’ Sean Payton goes for it on fourth-and-goal. I turn to my dog, Sapphire, and tell her I’d kick the field goal.

4:50: Agreeing with Payton’s call, Bill Cowher says, “He sends a message to his football team: ‘I’m playing to win the game.’ ” And I thought he was there to watch The Who.

5:22: Payton starts second half with successful onside kick. I guess he REALLY wants to win.

5:27: With the Saints driving to take their first lead, Toni – aka She Is The One (And Then Some) – asks me what I want for dinner.

5:27:15: Hey, I understand and accept “till death do us part,” but if the little lady interrupts the game one more time, it’s going to be somebody’s funeral.

5:53: If you told me there’d be a weed killer commercial during the Super Bowl, I’d tell you you’d been smoking some of it.

6:26: As Peyton drives Colts for potential game-tying drive, my stepson Isaiah asks where his weekly allowance is.

6:26:15: I make a note to check my prenup after the game.

6:28: Peyton is picked – I replay it on my TiVo because I believe it must be an optical illusion.

6:42: If I’m Drew Brees, I’m not going to Disney World, I’m going to Denny’s for a Free Grand Slam Breakfast Tuesday.

Ask The Slouch

Q. If there’s an NFL lockout in 2011, what will Ron Jaworski do with his time? (Terence Lane; Columbia, S.C.)

A. The prospect of an NFL lockout is so horrifying, ESPN colleagues have been instructed to not even mention it to Jaws.

Q. What was Lane Kiffin’s recruiting pitch to land a 13-year-old at USC? (Paul Lyons; Spokane)

A. I believe Kiffin promised him Halloweens off.

Q. Are people who play soccer video games required to work the controls with their feet? (Jim Mannella; Pittsburgh)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!