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Don’t bring up daughter’s weight

Dear Annie: My husband and I need some advice on how to approach a sticky situation concerning our daughter.

In the past several years, “Tricia” has gained a tremendous amount of weight. We are genuinely concerned for her health, both physical and mental. We don’t know how to approach the subject without alienating her and causing resentment.

Tricia is married, with a loving husband and two precious children. But we worry that if the weight situation continues, they may not have her around in a few years. How do we address this in a kind, nonjudgmental manner? Any guidance will be appreciated. – Concerned Parents

Dear Parents: We know it will be difficult to watch your daughter continue to gain weight, but believe us when we say nothing you tell her will make an ounce of difference. She knows she is overweight and that proper diet and exercise will help. She isn’t ready. The best thing you can do is tell her you love her and that she is a wonderful person and you will always be there for her. Talk to your son-in-law about creating a healthy environment for the entire family – he may need to help more with the grocery shopping and meal preparation. Children easily pick up their parents’ habits – good and bad. Otherwise, we urge you to stay out of it. This is truly a do-it-yourself project.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.