Wife’s freeloading son a big problem

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been happy together for 25 years. When her adult son lost his job, we let him move in with us so he could get back on his feet. Three years later, he is no better off than the day he arrived.

“Joe” will find a good job, work for a while and then quit. Sometimes he won’t get out of bed until the afternoon. He contributes absolutely nothing toward the bills.

I am angry that we are living paycheck to paycheck because of the extra money we spend to feed and house Joe. He is wasting his life. I’ve suggested he move in with his father, who lives in another state. My wife says, “If it bothers you, say something to him.”

Annie, I resent that she is putting this problem in my hands instead of dealing with it herself. I know it bothers her, too. I want my home back without the extra baggage. What do I do? – Lost in My Own Home

Dear Lost: Your wife is asking you to be the bad guy so she doesn’t have to be. We recommend you take her up on it. First make sure you and your wife agree on the message. Then tell Joe you can no longer afford to support him. Insist he get some type of job within two weeks and begin paying a reasonable amount of rent. If he doesn’t like it, he is welcome to live elsewhere. Joe should not be able to appeal to Mom for a better deal, so make sure she backs you up.