Miss Manners: Guests treated as sources of income

Mon., Jan. 11, 2010

Judith Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received an invitation to a “gift card shower” for “a wonderful couple to celebrate their marriage and their new home.”

There was no party or get-together. Instructions on the invitation indicated that this was a surprise and that those wishing to participate should send a gift card (from various retail stores listed) to the couple’s new home address.

This young couple had a very small wedding several years ago and asked that no parties or wedding showers be given for them. Is this gift card shower something new?

GENTLE READER: For some time now, people who see their guests as sources of income and dry goods have been trying to eliminate what they believe to be the downside: actually seeing the guests, and supplying them with refreshments.

Eliminating that from social life has occurred to more than one such fundraiser. What Miss Manners fails to understand is why anyone would want to comply.

Readers may write to Miss Manners at MissManners@ unitedmedia.com, or via postal mail at United Media, 200 Madison Ave., Fourth Floor, New York, NY 10016.