January 24, 2010 in Idaho Voices

Jeans joke lives on for clerk, wife

By The Spokesman-Review
 

You may already know that Kootenai County Clerk Dan English has lost the equivalent of a runway model worth of weight. But did you know that his successful stomach bypass surgery has prompted him to cross dress? Seems Dan was puttering around the house the other day when he spotted his wife’s jeans draped over a chair. Which caused him to wonder if he could get them on. “Way back when we first got married,” Dan told Huckleberries Online readers, “we used to joke that we could wear each other’s jeans (although hers were always a bit too long).” Not only did Dan get the jeans on, but he also zipped and buttoned them before walking into the kitchen, where he was awarded for his shenanigans with the appropriate scowls and growls from his wife. Dan has dropped 87 pounds since July, dropping from a 46 waist to size 10 women’s jeans. Such has been Dan’s transformation that three acquaintances failed to recognize him while he was in Boise to see a rededication of the state capitol.

“Now, maybe she was distracted,” Dan said, “but I fear one was the S-R’s own star reporter, Betsy (Russell).” Dan says he’s beginning to feel like he’s in “one of those movies where you are a ghost and people don’t really see you.” But he ain’t complaining.

Oy, Canada!

Gloria is a Canadian who has lived in the United States for 42 years. She has children and grandchildren who were born in this country and educated at Texas A&M University. Now, onward. On Friday, Jan. 8, she was in a long line at the Hayden post office, planning to mail some CDs in 5-by-7-inch envelopes to Canada. Noticing the mailing addresses, an older woman from Leisure Park launched into a tirade against all things Canada. Ms. Busybody complained that this country is embracing social medicine like Canada. Then, Ms. Busybody called Gloria “communist” and “socialist” – and was told to go back to her country. “I am not a communist or a socialist,” Gloria told Huckleberries. “I am a legal ‘resident alien’ and cannot believe that people are so ignorant when the Canadian border is only 90 miles away.” I can.

Huckleberries

Scanner Traffic (from Huckleberries Online at 9:56 a.m. Monday): “A white vehicle belonging to a local insurance company – yeah, I know which firm it was – is speeding on Highway 95 at Chilco. The driver may be working on his laptop.” Betcha his rates don’t go up … Overheard among hairstylists at Supercuts at Ironwood Plaza Monday: First stylist: “I had to offer my husband $3 to rub my feet last night.” Second stylist: “Did he do it?” First stylist: “Yeah, and he took the money, too.” She didn’t say how he enjoyed his night on the couch … Just so you know, says Blogmistress Jen of A Butterfly Moment, “A, e, i, o, and u are VOWELS. Not BOWELS. I had to teach that lesson to my kindergarteners today.” I’d like to have been a fly on the wall for that lesson … Huckleberries Poll: 66 percent (103 of 157) of the Merry Hucksters who responded online said Idaho legislators would be wrong to cut taxes in the current economic climate in which education and other valuable services are being sliced to the bone.

Parting shot

You may remember Ira Loudenback as the troubled 70-something who led police on a car-ramming chase in summer 2008 only to drown off Sanders Beach last week. But a Berry Picker recalls him differently: “He lived in CdA for most all of his life and was a handyman. He and his wife were married for over 50 years and they were inseparable. Two years ago she died very unexpectedly, and Ira was devastated. He never recovered and this is how his life ended.” There but for the grace of God …

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