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If your weekly bridge game smells like gunpowder, scram

Thu., July 1, 2010

Here’s how to avoid getting hit by stray gunshots in Spokane.

1. If you are attending the symphony and notice that more than a few others in the concert hall are shirtless, turn around and go home.

2. If a lot of the others who showed up for a meeting about sustainable transportation alternatives seem glassy-eyed high or pointlessly belligerent, take a rain-check.

3. If you are at the library’s reference desk and everyone nearby is yelling and cursing and generally trying to act tough, save your question for another time.

4. If you are out walking your dog shortly after sunrise and all those you encounter seem to be socially impotent 19-year-old dropouts shouting threats and affecting ludicrous “gangsta” poses, head home and try again tomorrow.

5. When your golf foursome gets into a back-and-forth about slow play with the group ahead of you, stand behind a big tree until the shooting stops.

6. Back away slowly when you see rival vegetable gardeners brandishing weapons.

7. Stop being surprised by the reality of Spokane’s social spectrum.

Pet-sitter surprise: Jackie Ogden was taking care of her brother’s dog while he was out of town. No one knew Misty was pregnant until the puppies arrived.

Your cover story for Spokane Basement Life magazine: “Beyond the Grow Room: Creating a Tropical Paradise the Legal Way.” — Annemarie Frohnhoefer

Couldn’t stop laughing: Becky Dueben was in a restroom stall at Washington State University. Several other women were nearby washing their hands and chatting.

Dueben remembered something funny from earlier in the day. “I laughed out loud,” she said.

Suddenly she became aware that the other women in the restroom had grown silent. And that set her off again.

Classic summer fare: Liz Schatz’s daughter once got confused about the dinner options and asked if they were going to have “chicken on the cob.”

Today’s Slice question: Would a yellow card/red card system work in daily life?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. It’s important to know whether TV anchors approve of the weather we’re having.

 

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