Border crossings open up bounty of low-tax living

On Tuesday afternoon I drove to Post Falls, where I bought enough booze for Lindsay Lohan’s hoosegow release party.

I hobbled out of the Idaho liquor store lugging a half-gallon of Jack Daniel’s, a fifth of Patrón Silver tequila, a bottle of Bacardi rum …

I’ve never been that much of a tippler, although I did devote a summer once to researching how to make the perfect margarita.

( Hint: Eighty-six the crappy triple sec and use Cointreau instead. It’s a lot pricier, sure, but your friends and taste buds will praise you for it.)

But I felt pretty damned righteous loading my alcoholic wares into the back of my ’67 Vista Cruiser station wagon.

Making the short hop saved me a bundle. Plus it filled me with the rebellious satisfaction of knowing I had thumbed my nose at Washington’s egregious sin taxes.

In a budget-balancing move a Mafia don would appreciate, Gov. Chris Gregoire not long ago gave the nod to placing higher taxes on many of the little vices that make life more enjoyable to Washington working stiffs.

We’re talking tobacco, candy, soda pop, etc.

For example, I used to pay a buck and quarter for a 20-ounce Diet Coke in the newspaper vending machine.

That same refreshing carbonated chemical compound now cost me $1.35.

Some people call this a “sin tax,” although extortion works, too.

I’m all for Washington having a balanced budget. But the weasels of the Legislature should find other ways to do it besides continually gouging poor consumers.

Idaho’s tax structure is not nearly so draconian. And that simple rule of geographic economics has created a caravan of eastbound bargain-hunters like me.

A recent news story reported that the Post Falls liquor store has become Idaho’s “top-seller of booze, with customers from nearby Eastern Washington helping drive up sales of distilled spirits.”

I have no reason to doubt this. About half of the dozen or so cars outside the liquor store bore Washington plates. And no wonder, considering the savings to be found.

Remember that aforementioned jug of Jack Daniel’s?

In Spokane it sells for $46.95. In Post Falls it’s yours for $40.95.

The Patrón Silver is $54.95 in Spokaloo and $47.95 in Post Falls.

Nearly every bottle I priced in Idaho was significantly cheaper than the overtaxed hooch at the Spokane liquor store I visited for comparison purposes.

At these savings Lilac City drinkers can hardly afford to stay home. Why, the cigarette prices in Idaho are so much lower that, for a minute, I considered taking up smoking just to cash in on the great savings.

OK. I know what many of you out there are thinking.

You’re thinking: “Clark, anyone who’s read your column knows that infernal red Vista Guzzler of yours swills high octane fuel worse than Kid Rock on a Jim Beam bender. Just getting to Post Falls probably cost you way more in gas than anything you saved buying booze.”

To this I say: There is more to the Gin State – oops, I meant the Gem State – than just affordable rotgut.

While I was there I also dropped into a grocery store where I purchased five more boxes of Washington-banned, phosphate-enhanced Cascade dishwasher soap.

I have now stockpiled enough contraband Cascade to keep the Clark family dishes squeaky clean through the next millennium.

But wait, there’s more.

Sure, I knew the 22-mile trip to Post Falls would put my Vista Guzzler in serious need of a fuel fix. But much to my delight, I discovered a convenience store station selling premium gasoline at $3.09 a gallon. I passed a Spokane gas station the other day that was actually advertising premium at $3.33.

Adios, Idaho.

A quick stop and 14 gallons of gas later found me back on the interstate and heading for home with the warm glow that comes from doing the right thing.