Spokane7
48°
July 26, 2010 in Features
Annie’s Mailbox: She finds beau’s daughter impolite
Dear Annie: I have been living with “Clyde” for more than a year. He has a 25-year-old son and a 14-year-old daughter. His divorce was long and painful, and his ex-wife involved both children in the mess. She continues to badmouth Clyde to her daughter.
Clyde and I live together and host this girl every other weekend. She is constantly making rude comments to her father and is disrespectful to me. She never says hello when she walks into the house and doesn’t thank me for cooking for her, entertaining her friends or anything else. She is a guest in my home, and I go out of my way for her.
Clyde refuses to confront her about anything, as she always runs back to her mother, who then calls Clyde and makes me sound like a terrible person. The girl is whiny, bratty and a total daddy’s girl. I have tried to like her, but between her nasty comments to her father and her rudeness toward me, I would prefer not to have her around. I know this could ultimately split us up, but I cannot tolerate this annoying child anymore.
I have asked Clyde to take her somewhere during the day and return her to her mother at night, but the divorce agreement doesn’t allow for that. Is there a solution to getting along with this girl? I am sick and tired of dealing with her every other weekend. – The Girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend: The two of you need to work together to do what’s best for this child, and she is not going to make it easy. She is plenty miserable herself, torn between a mother she wants to please by disliking you and a father who lets her get away with it. Clyde needs to set some ground rules to reduce the blatant disrespect. If he doesn’t know how to do it, we recommend family counseling.
Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net.
Horoscope 
Shadowed_Raven on August 16 at 12:54 p.m.
Girlfriend,
It’s going to be hard. A child whose gone through a divorce with their parents and has chosen a side is bound to dislike whatever side they’ve chosen dislikes. Especially if she’s the baby in the family.
The mom isn’t making it any easier by badmouthing to the children and listening to only the daughter, without calling you to get the full story. I suggest you just leave the girl alone. Don’t push her limits. She’s hurting badly and is rebeling against it. She thinks being harsh and mean is better than letting herself have a good cry with people around. So just leave her be.
Don’t go out of your way to entertain her and her friends. If she asks you for a ride, tell her to ask her father. Have her father understand that you’re not going to cook or clean or bend over backwards for someone who can’t say thank you in return. But also let her know that the door is open if she ever wants to talk. Don’t be mean, but don’t let her push you around. Just shrug and say casually ‘well if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.’ Hopefully she’ll heal in time and open her mind to the possibility of you being an extra ear.