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Home can wait; but about those cookies…

So there’s this first-grade teacher in Spokane Valley who just retired.

Before the end of the recently completed school year, her pupils wrote send-off notes, wishing her well with the next phase of her life.

One little boy said that he loved her and if she came to visit him at his house, he would make her chocolate chip cookies. In addition, he offered to give her a tour of retirement communities in our area.

Apparently this lad believes that when you retire, that’s where you go. Right away.

As it happens, his teacher has other plans. But that offer cracked her up.

And maybe she’ll still stop by for cookies.

There are two kinds of people around here: 1. Those who will be at Hoopfest this weekend. 2. Those who won’t.

At some point, maybe in a grocery store or while out walking the dog, these latter folks will be greeted with “So, you’re not at Hoopfest.”

If you are in category No. 2, you might wonder how to respond to that stating of the obvious.

Well, here are a few suggestions.

“So, you’re not at Hoopfest.”

“Yes, I am. You’re talking to a hologram.”

“So, you’re not at Hoopfest.”

“Yeah, I got kicked out for not having enough tattoos.”

“So, you’re not at Hoopfest.”

“No, I’m waiting for Pigfest or whatever they call it.”

Slice answer: “If the ingredients have anything to do with a syrup concentrate, freeze-dried crystals or a fountain dispenser, it’s not iced tea,” said Jim Christensen.

If only we could clone this guy: Erin Rudders made a driving mistake and almost plowed into another vehicle. “I realized my error and must have looked horrified because as quickly as the other driver realized I wasn’t going to hit him, he put up his hand and waved off my concerns and then went past me and gave me a nice smile and thumbs-up.”

Today’s Slice question: This is the anniversary of the 1876 Battle of the Little Bighorn. What do some Indians think when they hear an angry white guy proclaim himself to be a True American?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail Bears probably think we have a weird smell.