June 26, 2010 in Features

In many ways, smack talk outshines the hoops skills

By The Spokesman-Review

Books on the floor, please.

Six of the following dozen quotes are things you might overhear at Hoopfest.

The other six are lines from movies that deal at least in part with basketball. Your task is to identify which quotes belong to which category.

Of course, it’s possible that some of the movie quotes are things you might also hear at Hoopfest. And a few of the theoretical Hoopfest overheards could sound like possible snippets of movie dialogue. But no one said this would be a lay-up.

Good luck.

1. “If not for unfortunate genetics, a lack of fitness and no talent, I would be a force out here.”

2. “There’s nothing in the rule book that says one team can’t jump higher than the other.”

3. “I’ve fallen and I can’t reach my beer.”

4. “All the way up with a red-hot poker. I can play anywhere now.”

5. “I’ll make it.”

6. “Stop calling me ‘The fat kid.’”

7. “Did you hear what your dad just yelled at the court monitor?”

8. “You see, Billy, it’s like this. You either smoke or get smoked. And you got smoked.”

9. “Perhaps your skills do reach farther than basketball.”

10. “How can you tell she’s watching you? She has sunglasses on.”

11. “My mom doesn’t want to give us a ride because she says we’ll get the car seats all sweaty.”

12. “Corndogs, Jackie! Corndogs, for all these people!”

Answers: 2. “The Absent-Minded Professor.” 4. “One On One.” 5. “Hoosiers.” 8. “White Men Can’t Jump.” 9. “Finding Forrester.” 12. “Semi-Pro.”

Grade yourself: 12 correct: You cheated. 10 correct: Lucky guesses. Eight correct: Maybe you have seen a few movies. Six or fewer correct: Fail.

Thanks for playing.

Today’s Slice question: How many different kinds of animals have you seen helping themselves to fresh, healthy snacks from your garden?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. For previous Slice columns, see www.spokesman.com/columnists. A fairly high percentage of remember-when anecdotes about childhood fireworks experiences don’t ring true.

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