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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Annie’s Mailbox: Hope bride tells dad he’s important

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My stepdaughter, “Hannah,” is getting married soon. The problem is, her mother is pushing Hannah to let her stepfather walk her halfway down the aisle. Her father will then walk her from there to the altar. My husband is devastated that when people turn around to see the bride, they will see her with the stepfather first.

What are the guidelines for such a situation? My heart breaks to see my husband try to deal with this without sharing his thoughts with Hannah. – Sad on a Happy Day

Dear Sad: It is not uncommon for stepfathers to walk the bride partway down the aisle. It is how a bride can show gratitude to someone who helped raise her. And Dad still gets to take Hannah to the altar. Mom, however, should not be pressuring Hannah one way or the other, and neither should Dad. Brides are under enough stress. Support your husband by helping him accept Hannah’s decision, whatever it is, and by assuring him that it does not detract from his importance in his daughter’s life. We hope Hannah will tell him this, as well.

Dear Annie: I read the responses to “Still the Mom,” but I guess I’m in the minority. I wish I had never met my biological mother.

She was a gossip and a troublemaker with a sordid past, which took years for me to detach from my own identity. Despite it all, I tried to have a friendship with her, but she wasn’t interested. I was rejected all over again.

Worse, I was 18 when I found her, and my adopted mother blew a gasket. She thought I didn’t love her and made my life miserable. – Not Always Greener

Dear Greener: Doing a search for a birth parent is always a risk because not every situation works out as anticipated. What is truly sad, however, is your adopted mother’s inability to be supportive when you needed her. We hope things are better now.