Huckleberries: Monster theories squished

Last Monday began with a mystery on Strahorn Road near Lacey, a section that begins an uphill climb. Where a female driver reported that she saw something that looked like a monkey dead on the road. Later, an officer of some sort reported from the scene to the 911 dispatch center that he’d removed the strange animal. I posted all of this, of course, on my Huckleberries Online Scanner Traffic. One of my blog commenters, tongue firmly cheeked, suggested that the creature could be the chupcabra – a legendary animal that preys on goats and other livestock. As someone who watched “Creature of the Black Lagoon” with my family at a drive-in as a kid and “The Crawling Eye” with a buddy, I imagined the dead creature to be all sorts of things, including a baby Bigfoot. Or a hairy Aryan who’d wandered back to the Hayden area seeking past glory. Or even the rarest of critters in Phil Hart’s House District 3 – an Idaho Democrat. My mind raced until spoilsport KCSD Maj. Ben Wolfinger brought me back to earth by responding to an e-mail inquiry, identifying the strange animal as a (drum roll, puh-leez) – raccoon. May Rocky Raccoon R.I.P.

Truth in advertising

First, you need to remember that a car bomb was found under Cyndi Steele’s Mitsubishi when she took the vehicle for servicing to Fast Lane Quick Lube on Bosanko/CdA in June. Then, you’ll appreciate the sign my wife spotted on Fast Lube’s readerboard recently: “We help prevent explosive repairs.” And on the sign below? “We do a thorough inspection.” Edgar Steele, the Bonner County attorney who represented the late Richard Butler and Aryan Nations security guards in the civil trial that bankrupted the racist group, is still in jail on charges that he tried to hire someone to murder his wife.

Huckleberries

Poet’s Corner: Those clouds you see/aren’t here to stay./They’ll leave again/sometime in May – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“Song for a November Morning”) …

Art Thiel, the Seattle P-I sports columnist, offers the best summary of the late Dave Niehaus’ Hall of Fame career: “It’s a damn shame that the Mariners never lived up to their play-by-play man” … Carson York, the ex-LCHS Timberwolf who’s now starring as a redshirt sophomore for No. 1 UOregon, has the brains to go with brawn that can squat 450 pounds. The journalism major is pulling a 3.7 gpa, which earned the offensive lineman first-team Pac-10 All-Academic honors to go with his preseason second team recognition for his on-the-field work … For those keeping score at home, Kristen “Holly Shyt” Binyon, Jada “Pippi Headstomping” Bellrose, & their Snake Pit Venomous Vixens teammates, completed their 2010 roller derby season with a 208-142 win over High Desert Darlins from the Tri-Cities. The Vixens finished the season with a 6-1 record … You have to wade through a lot of Facebook posts to uncover something as interesting as the one made recently by Trish Gannon, chief-cook-and-bottle- washer of the River Journal: “There is a mouse butt on my floor. Tail, hind legs, and hindquarter – and nothing else. Guess the cat was full.” No “eek!” No exclamation points. They make gals tough up there in Clark Fork … Hucks Online Poll: By 52.5 percent to 44.4 percent, my blog readers said the city of Coeur d’Alene should foot the legal bill (about $105,000) for Councilman Mike Kennedy to defend himself against sore loser Jim Brannon’s never-ending challenge to overturn his three-vote loss in the 2009 municipal election … Quotable quote: “So when someone creates a bomb he can swallow, do we get stomach-pumped at the airport? How about a suppository bomb?” – Randy Stapilus, Idaho politics observer extraordinaire re: airport security full-body scans. Bingo.

Parting shot

Opinionator Marty Trillhaase had some harsh words for House Speaker Lawerence Denney, who failed to deal with embattled Rep. Phil Hart until Hart asked in a letter to be removed from the House Rev & Tax committee: “Long ago, any speaker worth his office would have condemned Hart for what he is – a timber-stealing tax cheat. He’d strip Hart of all committee assignments. And he’d be the one launching an ethics probe instead of relying on the conscience of other lawmakers. Not this speaker.” Ouch!