Annie’s Mailbox: Time to vacate intolerable situation
Dear Annie: My roommate, “Trish,” and I are good friends, and we are both attending the same college.
Last spring, her boyfriend spent a lot of time at our apartment. He stayed overnight several times, which made me uncomfortable. I spoke with both of them about it and offered to spend one night a week at my parents’ house so they could have the apartment to themselves. Trish agreed, but her boyfriend didn’t. He continued to hang out at the apartment even when she wasn’t there and liked to walk around in his underwear without a shirt.
The boyfriend left for the summer and came back two weeks ago. Today, he came by the apartment and lounged in the living room with his shirt up and his pants unzipped. Even after I told him his fly was open, he didn’t fix it.
He doesn’t respect my roommate or me, and I’m tired of being ignored. Trish is a dear friend, but I’m ready to move out. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, so is there any way I can make him listen to me? – No More Patience
Dear No More: No. He has no interest in listening to you, and if Trish has asked him to be more respectful (we doubt it), he doesn’t listen to her, either. Regardless, she permits this, which means she prefers his company to yours.
Tell Trish you are so sorry, but the situation has become intolerable and you are moving out. We don’t think she will object too strongly. Find another roommate and another apartment. This one, apparently, is taken.