Spokane7
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October 25, 2010 in Features
The Slice: You gotta ask yourself, do you feel lucky?
Clint and The Slice? A million possibilities, baby.
(Full-size photo)
A friend sent me an e-mail early Friday morning.
It said, “I rarely envy other people’s jobs, but how cool is it to have your photo next to Clint Eastwood’s on the cover of the Today section?”
I jokingly wrote back, “Yes, it was great working with him.”
But that gave me an idea. What if a few of Clint’s various productions had been set in Spokane? How would the stories have been different? Just imagine.
“Rawhide”: Instead of working on cattle drives, Rowdy Yates would have worn a hard hat and toiled on a road construction crew. “Head ’em up. Move ’em out.”
“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”: A county commission’s meetings brought to the big screen. “There’s really not too much future with a sawed-off runt like you.”
“Paint Your Wagon”: Instead of sharing a wife, two prospectors share a high-mileage Ford Country Squire. “You should have read the Bible.”
“Dirty Harry”: No change. Punk.
“Magnum Force”: This time Harry Callahan goes after those using fireplaces during a burning ban. “Nothing wrong with shooting as long as the right people get shot.”
“Unforgiven”: An animal control officer comes out of retirement to settle a score with a puppy mill operator. “We all got it comin’, kid.”
“The Bridges of Madison County”: A tale of middle-aged romance becomes the story of an STA bus driver and a nurse named Francesca. “If you want me to stop, tell me now.”
“Million Dollar Baby”: The boxing ring gives way to a real estate office as the setting for this tale of a South Hill dreamer. “She’s not asking for God’s help. She’s asking for mine.”
“Gran Torino”: A retired aluminum worker who despises his kids and grandkids befriends a Russian immigrant teen and teaches him about tools and ethnic slurs. “You people are nuts.”
“Hereafter”: Tale of a North Side guy with a mystical ability to communicate with people who are about to pay way too much for something. “The voice told me it was too spendy.”
Today’s Slice question: What do the subject lines in your e-mail in-box suggest about your life?
Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. Most of the world doesn’t care about the World Series.
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