October 28, 2010 in Features

Annie’s Mailbox: Wife would like to sleep at girlfriend’s

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been together for 13 years, married for four. We have a wonderful 11-year-old son.

We got together while we were in high school. Neither of us ever had many close friends or much of a social life. But all of a sudden, my wife has become a social butterfly. I hardly see her without her best friend, “Suzy.” In the past three weeks, I’ve had exactly one meal with my family without Suzy present.

Now my wife wants to stay overnight at Suzy’s house. I’ve told her that I don’t mind having Suzy around occasionally, but not all the time, and I don’t agree with this staying overnight business. I trust my wife, but she should sleep at home. Every time I mention my feelings, she gets angry and says I’m jealous and don’t want her to have any friends, or she closes up tight and won’t speak to me for days.

I love my wife, but I married her, not Suzy. I want her to have friends and have fun, but am I wrong to expect her home at a reasonable hour, and to let me know where she’s going? – Home Alone

Dear Alone: Married women do not make a habit of sleeping over at a girlfriend’s house unless there are problems in the marriage – and it sounds as if there may be. Couples that get together in high school can sometimes feel they’ve missed out, and Suzy appears to provide excitement. Your wife owes you complete honesty. Insist on it.

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