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Annie’s Mailbox: Hubby’s cheated twice in first year

Thu., Sept. 30, 2010

Dear Annie: Our 25-year-old daughter and her husband, “Buddy,” are having marital problems. “Kristen” told me things weren’t right between them, and I recently found out Buddy has been cheating. They have been married only a year. He’s on his second affair, although he says this woman is “just a friend.” He likes to “hang out” at the other woman’s house, and when Kristen said she wasn’t comfortable with that, he didn’t care and went anyway. Kristen found out that when she was on a business trip, this woman stayed in their house. Buddy doesn’t seem to think there’s anything wrong with that. They want to work things out, and my daughter told him in order to do that he needs to drop all contact with this woman, but he refuses. He said he deleted her phone number from his cell, but Kristen checked and discovered that he simply listed her phone number under another name. Kristen asked him to see a marriage counselor with her, but he won’t go. He says they can work this out on their own. I told Kristen that if he won’t go, she should. What else can I tell her besides the obvious? – Our Monkey

Dear Yours: Kristen should think long and hard about staying with someone who doesn’t understand or care about his obligations as a husband. A man who cheats twice within the first year of marriage is not likely to change his ways on his own. But you are right that your daughter can benefit from counseling with or without Buddy. We hope she will take your advice.

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