The Slice: Beatify in the eye of the beholder

Darla DeCristoforo was researching the Spokane Lilac Festival’s history when she came across something that gave her pause.

It was a Spokesman-Review article from May 2007. Headlined “Lilac memories: Spokane native has seen every parade,” it contained one rather amazing sentence.

“The Associated Garden Clubs is a nonprofit organization that Smith says has donated $125,000 since 1986 in an effort to help beatify Spokane.”

Yes, beatify. As in, “To declare, by public statement, to be in heaven and entitled to some public veneration.” — Webster’s New World College Dictionary

Now, OK, you might assume that it was supposed to be “beautify.”

But DeCristoforo likes to think that the newspaper means what it says. So that prompted her to pose a question that I can honestly say I have not heard before.

“I don’t know if it ever got papal blessing, but I do wonder, of what is Spokane the patron saint?”

All right, I’ll go first. Then I will turn it over to Slice readers here in the St. Spokane metropolitan area.

1. Spokane could be the patron saint of dogs riding in the backs of pickups driven by people who don’t know much about the laws of physics.

2. Spokane could be the patron saint of those with regrettable tattoos.

3. Spokane could be the patron saint of foster parents who understand that there is no gift like love.

4. Spokane could be the patron saint of guys who crank up their diesel pickups at 5 a.m.

5. Spokane could be the patron saint of strivers.

And the coveted reporter’s notebook goes to…: Diane Martinson of Coeur d’Alene. She is the winner of the Neil Diamond sound-alike contest. I liked her version of “Hot August Night” and, as I write this, she leads the online voting – outpolling even a performance by “Noah K” that was actually a recording of Diamond himself. (Yes, I realize most undoubtedly figured that out.)

Today’s Slice questions: Do your pets have a relationship with your S-R delivery person? How do they note his or her arrival in the morning?