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The Slice: Second-graders write the dermendest things

There’s a new dog breed on the scene.

At least according to a North Idaho second-grader who wrote in class about a fondness for “dermend shepherd puppies.”

That must be like dermend chocolate cake, dermend potato salad, dermend sausage and dermend pancakes.

And if you want to rewrite the lyrics to that song in “The Producers” – you know, the one that refers to Dermendy – be my guest.

Let’s move on.

The Spokane definition of “cultural elite”: “Men who take their hats off indoors.” – Louise Long

“The cultural elite have Bud Light in bottles in their fridge, not cans.” – John Crock

“A wealthy person who is living off of an inheritance from their grandparents.” – Mike Altig

Just wondering: How close to Christmas does a birthday need to be to have its specialness challenged by the yule?

Three common criticisms of Christmas cards: 1. Illegible handwriting. 2. The attempt to be humorous failed. 3. Sender opened note with “Wasn’t sure if you were still alive…”

Name game: “A public workshop on the University District/Sprague Avenue corridor reminds me again of a question I’ve had since I moved to this area 14 years ago,” wrote Maxine Sullivan. “What university, and where the heck is it? Maybe changing that name to something that actually makes sense would be the first step toward revitalization. Suggestions?”

Today’s Slice question: Every time a bell rings …

A) A Spokane drunk starts his car. B) A day care worker mumbles “I don’t know.” C) A North Idaho dog barks at a neighbor who has had the audacity to step out into her own backyard. D) Someone realizes the shower drain is clogged. E) An Inland Northwest kid makes the connection between academic achievement and opportunity. F) A Spokane sports fan spends another few minutes thinking about something that doesn’t really matter. G) A teenage girl realizes her boyfriend doesn’t deserve her. H) Someone in Spokane adds up outstanding credit card balances. I) A grandmother decides to make a pie. J) Other.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. How many Slice readers have a view of the Spokane River from home?

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