December 12, 2011 in Features

The Slice: Nobody can resist a fire sale

By The Spokesman-Review

I once wrote about a childhood neighbor who tried to scare some of us kids one spring.

He ripped off a “Twilight Zone” episode and told us that the days were getting longer because the Earth was off course and plummeting closer to the sun.

If he were alive right now, I suppose Mr. Kirsch would tell some dumb kids that our planet is hurtling out into the dark void.

Boy, if true, that would really jack up the price of firewood. Of course, here in Spokane, a lot of people would wait to get a good deal at an “end of the world” clearance sale.

Just wondering: Keri Yirak is curious to know if anyone else has gone down for a nap while wearing a scarf and woke up at some point feeling slightly strangled.

One last radio story: “I grew up in northeast Texas and, in the late 1940s and early ’50s, I listened to a station out of Del Rio, Texas,” wrote Harry Hart. “It would broadcast at 50,000 watts at night and could do it because the transmission tower was in Old Mexico. It would cover half the U.S. They had a commercial, I do not know what it was for, but if you sent them something (probably money), they would send you ‘An autographed picture of Jesus Christ.’ I missed out and regret it to this day.”

In the matter of trying to see while on the road: “The low angle of the winter sun can make driving difficult,” wrote Mike Storms.

His answer is to wear a baseball cap. The bill shades his eyes.

He would pull down the vehicle’s visor, except then he wouldn’t be able to see anything except the visor.

Though, I suppose, with so many others texting while behind the wheel, not being able to see wouldn’t make him much more of a hazard than a lot of other drivers on the road.

A set-in-Spokane Hallmark Christmas movie that was never made: “Holiday On Ice Storm.” – Randy Hair, Coeur d’Alene

Warm-up questions for waiters and waitresses: Ever had anyone say he or she will have the roast beast? How about figgy pudding? Chestnuts? Rummy tum tum?

Today’s Slice question: Ever think of your spam filter repository as an Island of Misfit Toys for email?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Aiiiiieee! It’s Edvard Munch’s birthday.

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