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December 18, 2011 in City
Doug Clark: Head-Crackin Karl can hum his own theme song
One thing has been missing in our ongoing coverage of the conviction of police officer Karl Thompson Jr.
That’s right, a parody song.
A number of you readers asked if I planned to add to my parody repertoire by giving ol’ Head-Crackin’ Karl a musical sendoff similar to my treatment of past local scandals.
The fall of Mayor Jim “I Did it Biway” West, say, and Larry “Tap Three Times” Craig.
It’s a fabulous idea.
Karl, who was found guilty for his 2006 beat-down of Otto Zehm in a Spokane convenience store, well deserves to be immortalized satirically. Though Karl’s lawyers will undoubtedly conjure up enough nonsense to file a hopeless appeal soon, the disgraced cop is scheduled to be sentenced and bound for the hoosegow late next month.
But the real question remains …
What song?
Joe Brasch, my amigo and fellow musical renegade, provided the answer seconds after I pitched the idea to him.
“Jailhouse Rock,” he said, “could be Jailhouse Cop.”
Genius.
The 1957 Elvis classic, with its boogie-woogie beat, is one of the most infectious rock songs ever written.
And so I spent the last week penning new lyrics with a bit of help, here and there, from Brasch.
(The “Spokane hood” part is his. I love it.)
So on Friday morning, we met in the secretly located Big Bubba Studios. After we jawed a bit, I faced the microphone and sang to a pre-recorded track while Brasch twisted the dials in the control room.
You can hear what we came up with online at www.spokesman.com. Otherwise, feel free to channel your inner Elvis and sing along to the famous melody, which begins with one of the most memorable two-chord riffs in all of rockdom.
“Bah-dah.
“Bah-dah …”
Jailhouse Cop
Karl Thompson Jr.’s headed to the can.
End of the line for a po-liceman.
But Karl had it comin’ cuz he would not stop.
Beatin’ that man who was holdin’ the pop.
Bop! Bop!
Karl’s baton, it went …
Bop! Bop!
All the convicts are lickin’ their chops.
Waitin’ for the Jailhouse Cop.
Judge Freddy moved the trial for Karl’s own good.
Said ya can’t trust a jury in the Spokane hood.
Court was called to order in Yakima town.
Four weeks later the hammer come down.
Went: Bop! Bop!
Right on Karl, it went …
Bop! Bop!
There’s a job in the license plate shop.
Waitin’ for the Jailhouse Cop.
Juror number seven said to Juror number eight.
Are you seein’ what I’m seein’ on the videotape?
Karl treated Otto so savagely.
Wouldn’t want that mad dog wailin’ on me.
Bop! Bop!
Karl’s baton, it went …
Bop! Bop!
Warden’s got a bucket and a mop.
Waitin’ for the Jailhouse Cop.
Otto had it comin’ the shysters wailed.
Poor old Karl, he can’t be jailed.
But justice had come, it was hard to believe.
Spokane was rockin’ like New Year’s Eve.
Bop! Bop!
Karl’s baton, it went …
Bop! Bop!
Chow line serving up slop.
Waitin’ for the Jailhouse Cop.
Karl’s cop buddies gnashed their teeth in dispute.
Then they gave a big “Sieg Heil!” salute.
The whole rotten bunch seems to neglect.
That wearin’ a badge means Serve and Protect.
Bop! Bop!
Karl’s baton, it went …
Bop! Bop!
Showers where the soap gets dropped.
Waitin’ for the Jailhouse Cop.
Waitin’ for the Jailhouse Cop …
Listen to Doug Clark perform the song.
Doug Clark is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review. He can be reached at (509) 459-5432 or by email at dougc@spokesman.com.
Recent stories by Doug Clark
Doug Clark: Roskelley’s candidacy is all downhill from here May 27, 2012 15- Clark: No clear inspiration for ‘Spokane Motel Blues’ May 24, 2012 6
- Professor’s ‘Motel’ mystery needs you to solve it May 22, 2012
- Clark: City ordinance shows lack of sound thinking May 20, 2012 21
- Doug Clark: Many wrongs, one big right in Zehm case May 17, 2012 24
ChefGus/ John Olsen on December 18 at 6:45 a.m.
Woof….. John
QueenofSanDiego on December 18 at 7:27 a.m.
Another “hit” Doug - love it!!
TheRoo on December 18 at 8:46 a.m.
Certainly “hits” the spot this morning.
mrd on December 18 at 9:28 a.m.
So sad, but a good song. Hope it gets play time at the SPD.
strictlyme on December 18 at 9:49 a.m.
Good one Doug…fist pumps for you…plus a salute
TK McGuinness on December 18 at 10:07 a.m.
Where can I down load this?
Pure GENIUS I say!
Peaches624 on December 18 at 10:35 a.m.
I listened to the song .. my admiration knows no bounds! Keep up the good work. We need you and Joe. There is a wealth of material here in Spokane.
Thank you much.
The_Seer on December 18 at 10:47 a.m.
LMFAO!
This is my favorite so far of Doug’s parodies though his best efforts, IMO, are from the Trailer Park Girls oeuvre in songs like “Twisted.”
Expect a call from my agent, Dougy. I want this in my film about the Zehm tragedy.
mary1958 on December 18 at 11:25 a.m.
You have more talents than I originally thought, Doug, Bravo!!
Otto_Pilot on December 18 at 12:32 p.m.
Not bad.
I’m Otto_Pilot and I approve of this parody.
D Statler on December 18 at 4:13 p.m.
I wonder if inmates can get this at Spokane County Jail ? I am guessing you could make some money off this :^) We’ll leave out the 50 inmate salute part.
misjustice on December 18 at 4:29 p.m.
The 100% 505 Gang ain’t gonna “like” this one on their WE HEART THOMPSON FaceBook Page!
ubbjim on December 18 at 8:31 p.m.
Another Clark classic Thank you Doug for always being such a true champion of justice for Otto
NWAI on December 18 at 10:02 p.m.
Triple U. Unfunny, Uninspired, and Unreadable. Nice that you can get your giggles in at the expense of a tragic situation. Here’s an idea: be part of the solution. All you people say there’s a disconnect between the police and the citizens but yet you continue to print garbage like this that only makes it worse. Time to move on, people.
greenlibertarian on December 18 at 10:20 p.m.
Another apologist for Thompson, NWAI.
Klubber’s a CONVICTED FELON, NWAI.
The biggest part of the tragedy is that the person most responsible for Otto’s death got to be free as a bird and even better for 5 years before justice could be properly if weakly applied.
NWAI on November 24 at 8:31 a.m.
Congratulations on another piece of garbage journalism. Not only is not funny, it’s just plain ignorant. Find something new and original to write about, the Thompson jokes are just lazy not to mention lame. Would it kill you to show a shred of gratitude for the police department that goes to battle for you day in and day out? I guess that wouldn’t be inflammatory enough to make a good headline though, huh?
brianrbreen on December 18 at 10:48 p.m.
I would kind of like to hold off moving on until after we see if the McIntyre indictment comes down, and we see if any state charges are going to be brought with others involved. If that’s okay.
NWAI on December 18 at 11:02 p.m.
@Brianrbreen-understandable. I guess by move on I mean move on to working to solve problems instead of just beating the same drum over and over. But then again you’re one of the reasonable ones…
@greenlibertarian-thanks for re-posting my comment from the Thanksgiving article, it mostly applies to this one too so I appreciate it.
ChiefsFan21 on December 18 at 11:09 p.m.
LMFAO that’s going to be a spokane classic Doug! Well done!NWAI you’re darn right there’s a disconnect.We don’t like scum in our city.And we especially don’t like more scum supporting scum.It’s time to get rid of the scum.Be part of the solution and stand up for what’s right not who you know.,
NWAI on December 18 at 11:22 p.m.
@ ChiefsFan-I don’t know Karl Thompson from Adam. I do know that he was trying to do his job, a job you clearly know nothing about. So instead of everyone acting like a bunch of children and name calling and posing as if you are an expert on “use of force”. We should probably take a step back and be reasonable. If he had acted maliciously and set out to do Otto harm then he would have been charged with assault. He was charged with excessive force which means he was doing his job and got carried away. The subject of his excessive force turned out to be innocent and died due to a tragic sequence of events, none of which had anything to do with the force used by Thompson. Somehow I don’t put that on the same scale as people that are career criminals out there purposely doing our community harm or people you may refer to as “scum”. Please try and be reasonable people!
greenlibertarian on December 18 at 11:58 p.m.
Typical ignorant apologist for Klubber, that being NWAI. Otto was a “Career Criminal” eh? Deserved that beat down to death, didn’t he NWAI?
You and your ilk are sick. Get help. Before more decent citizens are killed by law enforcement.
/stifling gag reflex.
liveinfearoftheSPD on December 19 at 1:06 a.m.
Of course I love it. When is the video coming out?
NWAI on December 19 at 12:08 p.m.
@Greenlibertarian- I was not referring to Otto Zehm, I was referring to everyone putting Karl Thompson in the same category as career criminals. I already said that Otto did not deserve to die nor did anyone intend for him to. That’s why its a TRAGEDY. But then you don’t seem to be capable of reason so I’m sure you will find more ways to twist my words.
brianrbreen on December 19 at 12:26 p.m.
@NWAI
I certainly wouldn’t have categorized him with career criminals. I would however prior to the Zehm case categorized him as a problem similar to some of other problems that have historically gone unchecked down there.
As far as moving on is concerned, I believe it would be realistic to think its going to be some time before that happens, but it isn’t the end of the beginning it’s the beginning of the end.
It is interesting to me how the perspectives on both sides of the issue seem to end up in three basic categories.
John_Fever_Richmond on December 19 at 2:53 p.m.
Well grouping Karl The Klubber in with career criminals is COMPLETELY UNFAIR to those bunch of career criminals!!!!! Granted, they are both felons … … . . but I would EASILY believe or trust the word of a career criminal as opposed to ANYTHING Karl The Klubber might have to say. Unfairly grouping that POS in with career criminals could easily and quickly cause a riot or something crazy like that!!!!!
That Bankruptcy Law-skirting, false statement submitting murderer just needs to go to where he belongs so he can begin to serve ALL the inmates to the best of his pathetic ability - in his specially reserved job position as the Official Inmate DNA collection and retention BEEEATCH!!!!!!!!!
detroitdude on December 19 at 4:15 p.m.
Very well done. Perhaps for a B-side Doug Clark could do something in the vein of Warren Zevon’s “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner”, except we could call it “Karl the Reckless Thompson Klubber”
NWAI on December 19 at 4:23 p.m.
@Richmond-After reading your post earlier today in which you categorized your own self as a criminal, I believe you.
brianrbreen on December 19 at 4:52 p.m.
@NWAI
Say what you want about JFR it is obvious he has never done any time in a minimum BOP joint, which is where KT will end up.