December 22, 2011 in Features

Annie’s Mailbox: Long-distance love not enough for him

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar Kathy Mitchell

Dear Annie: A year ago, my girlfriend and I started dating, but this isn’t what you would call a normal relationship. She and I live about 500 hundred miles apart, and only met in July on a trip to Florida.

We connected four years ago in an online chat room of a popular animated web series and sent messages back and forth. Then she found me on Facebook. A few months later, she called, and we texted back and forth and then graduated to instant messaging and then web cam chats. We fell in love, even though we knew the risks and difficulties of having a long-distance relationship.

Recently, I have been pondering the feasibility of our relationship. I don’t want to break up. I want to spend more time with her. But I’m a 20-something with a modest-paying regular job and a part-time weekend job, and I also take classes at a local community college. I find it difficult to save enough money let alone find the time to visit her. Even if she relocated, she would be moving away from her friends and family. Is there any hope for us? – Madly in Love

Dear Madly: Yes, but it requires some difficult choices. You are still young. You haven’t spent much time together, and being with someone in close proximity day after day can change how you feel. Every relationship is a leap of faith. Can she get a job in your area? Can you find one in hers? Would it be better to wait until you are finished with your education? Can you see each other more often if you meet somewhere in the middle? These are things you need to discuss, without pressure or resentment.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

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