Dinner guest has ice tongs phobia

Dear Annie: We live in a community made up mostly of retired couples who rotate having dinner get-togethers. One of the men in our group seems unable to keep his hands out of the ice bucket. His usual routine is to remove the ice tongs, stir the ice around with his hand and then lift some into his wife’s glass and his own.

We’ve told him that this is unsanitary, but it seems to go over his head. When filling my glass after him, I will often go to the refrigerator to get ice, and he always says, “There’s still ice in the bucket.”

His latest procedure is to announce to the whole room that he washed his hands before coming over. Then he dives into the ice bucket. Are we expecting too much? Two ice buckets, one for him and one for everyone else? – Phil from Philly

Dear Phil: That is one solution. The other is to ask him why he doesn’t use the tongs. Some people find them difficult to grasp. Your friend may have some arthritis and not want you to know. Try putting a serving spoon in the bucket and see if it makes a difference. The hosts could also bring out the ice bucket and fill everyone’s glass at the beginning of the dinner, precluding the need for your friend to stick his hands in it.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Disappointed Church Member,” whose pastor wouldn’t pray for her husband because he attends a different church.

I am Jewish, and at my synagogue, we say a Hebrew prayer for healing at each service. Before the prayer, a list of those who are ill is read aloud, followed by the question, “Does anyone have any other names?” It makes me proud of my faith to hear the names of both Jews and Christians. “Disappointed” should tell her pastor that this is a common practice, not only among different churches but also across different faiths. – Southern Jew