The Slice: Oh, and don’t forget the beer

Today, to save you some valuable time, The Slice provides a shopping list you can clip out and take to the store with you this Super Bowl weekend.

No need to thank me. It’s my pleasure.

Feel free to tweak this list to reflect religious prohibitions, dietary restrictions, good taste or pretensions of elegance.

OK, here goes …

Beer. (If those commercials are correct, you will be happy and surrounded by friends if you just keep drinking.)

Chips. (Make sure to get the kind that lists 94 additives.)

Salsa. (You’ll want the variety that makes steam vent from every orifice.)

Napkins. (Disposable bibs are another way to go.)

Soft drinks, fruit juice. (For non-Montanan gatherings where children won’t be drinking beer.)

Fixin’s. (Don’t skimp.)

Toilet paper. (No need to remind you of what everyone in your social circle now refers to as The Oxbow Incident.)

More beer. (If those commercials are correct, this will lead to much laughter and being surrounded by attractive people.)

More salsa. (Might as well also get some that people could actually enjoy.)

Paper towels. (There are going to be messes.)

Ice cream. (You will need it for medicinal purposes if anyone actually tries that first salsa you bought, the one with the skull and crossbones on the label.)

At least one food item not laced with high-fructose corn syrup. (It’s 2011. Someone will bring this up.)

Even more beer. (If those commercials are correct, you have been wrong all these years and it turns out that you are a fabulous dancer.)

Supplemental fixin’s. (This should include but not be limited to: shards of vegetable matter and dip-food products.)

A crack team of designated drivers. (OK, you won’t find this at the store. But you need to be thinking about it.)

Still more beer. (If those commercials are correct, people won’t hate you even though you filled the fridge and half your patio with industrial, mass-market beverages that are the real reason for the Super Bowl.)

A local specialty item. (Northwest-brewed beer, perhaps.)

Today’s Slice question: What’s the best way to take advantage of the fact that a lot of people will be home watching TV on Sunday afternoon?