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The Slice: World’s greatest rant?

Fri., Feb. 11, 2011

You are no doubt familiar with the American habit of anointing sports winners “world” champions even if most people on the planet have little or no interest in a particular competition.

Well, that absurdity doesn’t have to be restricted to athletics.

You can hype almost anything to a global degree. And we can play that game right here in Spokane.

Let’s say you have just made a sandwich. Maybe you would enjoy it more if you first proclaim it to be the “world’s champion turkey and swiss.”

Of course, that would be hard to prove. After all, people in many countries make estimable sandwiches.

But you can address that by being a tad more specific: “This is the world’s greatest sandwich made in my house in the last 30 minutes.”

Or let’s say you are driving your daughter and three of her friends to Saturday basketball. Suddenly another motorist pulls out in front of you. Responding quickly, you swerve and avoid an accident.

You would be perfectly entitled to declare your maneuver “the world’s greatest bit of driving on Sprague Avenue in the last few minutes.”

Let’s move on.

Going home again: “I went back to my childhood home in Brooklyn a few years ago and things were very different,” wrote Johnny Erp of Spokane. “What used to be a 1950s melting pot of a block is now totally Hasidic, as is the entire neighborhood.

“Talk about feeling out of place and like an outsider on the block you grew up on. I was the only one around without the long black coat, black hat and curls.

“I had a quick look around and started to leave. As I was walking back to my car I passed an elderly Jewish man who asked me in a very thick accent if I needed help or was looking for something. I said ‘Yes, but it’s not here anymore.’

“He then very perceptively asked ‘Where are your memories?’

“I pointed to the house and he said ‘That is a very nice house.’

“We went on our ways.”

Today’s Slice questions: Do you prepare your own income tax return? Why/why not?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail The coolest newspaper building in the Northwest is right here in Spokane, at the corner of Riverside and Monroe.

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