February 20, 2011 in City

Clark: Spokane bigger than Tacoma? Betting on it

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I hope nobody minds, but I have put our Spokane pride on the line in a friendly cross-state wager with Peter Callaghan, a columnist with the Tacoma News Tribune.

Our bet centers on the soon-to-be-released U.S. census numbers that will reaffirm my hometown as Washington’s second-largest metropolis.

Or not.

Yes, those population figures could relegate us to the No. 3 spot behind Tacoma although it pains me to think of that dark scenario.

Being No. 2 next to the smog cloud of Seattle is a bragging right all self-respecting Spokanites should hold dear.

We never get much respect out here in the 509.

Olympia ignores us. The only time we make national news is when something bizarre happens, like that visiting male Republican legislator who painted the town all dolled up in fishnets and a dress.

Tell a snobby West Sider you’re from Spokane. Most likely you’ll get the same look you’d give a shabby stranger who showed up at the door asking to use your bathroom.

But getting back to the bet …

After the numbers roll in, Callaghan and I have agreed to set up a future lunch date in the neutral city of Ellensburg.

Loser (No. 3) buys.

We have also talked about exchanging some gifts although I want to be very careful about that, because the last box that came to me with a Tacoma postmark contained a nasal time bomb.

That assault happened last fall, after a state office released population figures showing Spokane – with 205,673 residents – was still Washington’s second-biggest burg.

The numbers gave us a slim-but-significant 2,273-person edge over Tacoma.

So in a playful burst of monkeyshines, I bought a sympathy card and signed it: “Dear Tacoma, Eat My Dust! Respectfully yours, Spokane.”

I stuck the card in a carton along with a few Lilac City trinkets. Then I mailed my gloat box to the Tacoma City Council.

A couple of weeks later …

I arrived at work to find that the City of Dyspepsia (or is it Destiny?) had retaliated.

Inside the box, buried under some innocent Tacoma claptrap, was a large bag of dark ground coffee. At least I thought it was coffee until I opened the bag, stuck my nose practically into it and took a serious whiff.

YAAARGHHH!!!

Turns out I just inhaled the foul fumes from some sort of fertilizer that the Tacomians create out of their own poo.

Hey, who am I to judge what another city does with its spare time?

“They don’t make jokes about the ‘Tacoma Aroma’ for nothing,” I wrote at the time.

I’m sure nothing of the sort will happen. Callaghan seems like the sort of decent guy who can accept a census defeat in a gracious and good-natured manner.

But I’ll take along a pair of nose plugs just in case I’m wrong.

Hopefully, the population figures will continue to grow (har!) our way.

You know, in that event the City Council would be wise to put up some new signs that reflect our civic superiority.

“Welcome to Spokane – Washington’s Second Largest City!”

This will never happen, of course. Half the potholes in Spokane are from city officials dragging their feet on my great ideas.

Doug Clark is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review. He can be reached at (509) 459-5432 or dougc@spokesman.com.

12 comments on this story so far. Add yours!

• 

  westerly on February 20 at 9:23 a.m.

  Be careful, last counting in Tacoma several thousand Air Force and Army guys who live there were overseas and forgot to be counted on the census!

• 

  monkeyman on February 20 at 9:58 a.m.

  Bigger is not better. Definitely not in this case.

• 

  DickAdams on February 20 at 10:11 a.m.

  During the census quite a few dogs were included in the Spokane population. Fact!!

• 

  Thayne on February 20 at 10:36 a.m.

  Hey Dick, I worked the census, none of us counted dogs, cats or any other non humans. It is not fact. Where did you get that “fact” fox news? What’s so important about Spokane being larger. I would rather claim a lower crime rate or better educated people or lower unemployment.

• 

  hawken on February 20 at 11:32 a.m.

  I’m betting with Clarke. If he’s correct, consider this, we could have more Republican voices in state government! Wouldn’t that be great!

• 

  misjustice on February 20 at 12:02 p.m.

  Ummm, as someone that actually worked for the Census ( the ADCAN of 2009 and the NRFU of 2010) I can assure readers that cats, dogs, gerbils, and other non-humans were not counted. And as for the members of the military, there is a special count done to account for those living in barracks and in on-post housing; just as there is a special count done for college students. Geez people, get real.

  The Census Bureau, Constitutionally mandated, and conducted every 10 years since the first count done in 1790, takes its mandate very seriously and strives for accuracy; despite what Murdoch’s merry band of miscreants and ding bats like Michelle Bachmann bleat.

• 

  force_vector on February 20 at 7:01 p.m.

  Spokane and Tacoma are the left and right butt cheeks of the state. Who cares which cheek is bigger? Oh yeah, what’s in between those cheeks? Looking at you Yakima…

• 

  o_pleez on February 20 at 7:22 p.m.

  Westerly — “Be careful, last counting in Tacoma several thousand Air Force and Army guys who live there were overseas and forgot to be counted on the census”
  –––––––––––––––––
  If you’re talking about the people that live on base, I believe JBLM is counted as it’s own entity in the census, so the numbers don’t matter. Even if that’s not the case, JBLM isn’t in Tacoma, so the Military personnel that live on base would be counted as residents of Lakewood instead.

• 

  Shadedmuse on February 20 at 8:22 p.m.

  Tacoma is the 2nd largest city, Spokane is number 6 behind Vancouver, Everett and Bellingham, this would explain why Vancouver-Tacoma cordior is getting the new congress seat and not Spokane.

• 

  bszottlinger on February 20 at 8:54 p.m.

  Mr. Clark:

  I hope you do win your bet. Not because I care whether or not Spokane is number two or three, rather out of my concern for the well being of others. You see Doug, you can get away with not paying an indebtedness to people like me, but those West Coast Folks and the McClatchy family play hard ball. If you don’t pay up with them, chances are you really will have an excuse not to ride your bike any more. You don’t for a second think the McClatchy family have been able to keep their business in good shape with out knowing some pretty tough customers do you?

• 

  misjustice on February 21 at 4:45 p.m.

  Awww, Brad, still fuming over that drink that Doug owes ya?
  ; )

  I told you, he never pays up!

• 

  west on February 24 at 7:37 p.m.

  cool reading
  http://www.thenewstribune.com/2011/02/24/1557387/ok-so-spokane-is-larger-but-it.html