There’s a proper way to eat an ice cream cone

DEAR MISS MANNERS – Is it proper to lick food or liquid from around your mouth area or should you use your napkin instead?

An ice cream cone, of course, is impossible to eat without getting it all over your mouth. Nobody wants to waste the ice cream by wiping it away with a napkin. Are only certain foods OK to lick up with your tongue?

GENTLE READER – What do you mean by saying an ice cream cone is impossible to eat without getting it all over your mouth? Miss Manners is shocked.

Do not – repeat not – push the cone top-first into your face. The tongue gets plenty of exercise, but on the ice cream, not on your face.

When the cone is presented, the tongue should circle the rim to catch any overlap. It is then employed to lick the ice cream in swirls until the remainder sinks into the cone (perhaps aided by a surreptitious push by the tongue when Miss Manners isn’t looking), at which time it can be eaten in bites with the cone.

When you have mastered this, perhaps we can move on to barbecued spareribs.

DEAR MISS MANNERS – How does one politely ask a neighbor, who’s one block away to not snow blow my driveway in the future? I was awakened this morning by the sound of a snow blower going past my bedroom window. This kind person had cleared off my driveway once last year, and I thanked him, although I prefer to do the shoveling myself.

You might wonder why I would be annoyed (other than from being awakened by the machine) by a neighbor who kindly pushes his snowblower one block away to clear my driveway. I have numerous reasons: 1) Snowblowers are noisy and they pollute. 2) I find snowblowers unnecessary when I can clear the driveway in half an hour to an hour, depending on the amount of snowfall. 3) I enjoy snow shoveling! 4) I need the exercise. 5) I like to have my teenage daughter help me so she can learn to appreciate what physical labor is like.

I am not foolish enough to suggest that the neighbor has deprived me of the joy of snow shoveling (I’m going to help my neighbor as soon as I’m finished with this e-mail), exercise (I walk and take a rowing class) or the opportunity for my daughter to do some real work (she can scrub the bathtub). But still.

I will bake him a lemon poundcake and take it to him and his wife (they’re parents of my daughter’s friend) and thank him. I will say nothing of my annoyance. And the next time we have a snowstorm, I will get the shovel out at 6 a.m. and pre-empt my neighbor’s good intentions.

But it would be nice to be able to shovel the snow after I’ve had my breakfast. So, if there’s a polite way to say thanks but no thanks, please let me know.

GENTLE READER – How about also waking your daughter (so she can learn to appreciate a wintry dawn) and silently shoveling your neighbor’s snow before he wakes up?

When he thanks you, you can tell him how much you (Miss Manners advises against saying “we” in case your daughter decides to speak up) actually enjoy doing this, right after breakfast; it’s your favorite exercise, and you can hardly wait for it to snow again.