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Annie’s Mailbox: Hubby’s temper swings unsettling

Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our early 60s and have been married for eight years. “Troy” has a temper. One minute he will be sweet as pie, telling me he loves me, even singing love songs. The next minute he will fly into a rage and say every nasty thing possible, screaming at me and saying he wants a divorce and that I’m the worst wife ever.

When I tell him he’s a bully and a little nuts, he gets angry. Later, he usually apologizes and tells me he doesn’t know what got into him and he can’t live without me. Other times, he apologizes but says I am at fault for being so annoying.

In other ways, Troy is a good husband. We have a beautiful home, and he is very generous, so I try to ignore most of these tantrums. He is already taking an antidepressant and blood pressure medications. Could he be bipolar? Schizophrenic? I’ve asked him to return to his specialist, but he won’t. – Would Like an Answer

Dear Would: We don’t know what is wrong with Troy other than the fact that he has uncontrollable outbursts and berates you. He could be bipolar. Or he could be having a reaction to his medications. Or his antidepressant may not be doing the job.

The next time Troy is professing his adoration and singing love songs, ask him to make an appointment with his doctor and discuss the anger issues. Explain that you want this marriage to work out, but there are obvious problems and you need to know he is medically OK. If he refuses to seek help, it may be necessary for you to walk away. A generous husband and a beautiful home don’t seem worth this abuse.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net.


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