January 4, 2011 in Features

Confused about summer love

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I am a 20-year-old college sophomore. The summer before my senior year of high school, I took a trip to Europe with a religious youth group. From the moment we boarded the plane, “Rachel” and I shared a connection. By the second day, we were inseparable. After the trip, we stayed in touch.

A year later, the youth group held a reunion and I got to see Rachel again. That December, she came to my school’s postseason football game, and we both finally said “I love you.” I spent last summer in her hometown, attending classes at a local university and working part time.

The summer could not have been better, but Rachel and I both decided to step back and go our separate ways since she wanted the full “college experience” for her freshman year. But now I want to find ways for us to be together. I feel that this isn’t over – it can’t be.

I have no doubt that we are in love. We are perfect for each other in our values, aspirations and everything in between. I will give her whatever time and freedom she needs. All I want to know is whether I am right to believe the love we share is too special to die. Do I have to let her go and move on forever, or should I try to get back together when the time is right? – Confused and In Love

Dear Confused: The intensity of finding someone special during the summer may not translate to a permanent relationship, regardless of how it seems to you now. And too much intensity can be frightening. You and Rachel may have a future together, but you should not presume it, nor should you put your social life on hold waiting for her. Yes, there is a risk that she will find someone else (so might you). We recommend you limit this to a light and easy friendship, periodically texting and keeping in touch via Facebook. If she wants more, she will let you know.

E-mail questions to annies mailbox@comcast.net.

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