January 11, 2011 in City

A whole new meaning to law enforcement

Doug Clark The Spokesman-Review

Tags:Bradley ThomaDUIhit and runlawSpokane Police

Let me be first to say: “Welcome back to the SPD, Bradley Thoma!”

Granted, I don’t know if the former Spokane police sergeant – who was fired in the wake of a boozed-up, hit-and-run bumper bender – will accept this reported offer to rejoin the force as a detective.

But a change in Washington’s DUI law has apparently opened a wormhole for Thoma to crawl through.

Heck, who says our police officers have to be round-the-clock role models?

Just because they carry guns and take an oath to uphold our laws doesn’t mean some of them can’t go off the rails now and again.

Thoma, for example. His downfall occurred during some off-duty revelry back in September 2009.

In short, Thoma pounded a few too many. Then, in an incredible lapse of badge awareness, he slid behind the wheel of his Dodge Ram and, well, rammed into the back of a woman’s pickup.

Rather than stick around and perhaps make a new friend, Thoma compounded his disgrace by skedaddling.

Not that he skedaddled very far.

Thoma was pinched in the parking lot of a nearby grocery store. Tests showed that he was not merely drunk, but tanked-to-the-Thoma-tonsils drunk.

I won’t go into all the crafty legal maneuvering that followed. Suffice it to say that Thoma saw his hit-and-run charge dismissed and wound up with a deferred prosecution, which many thought was way less than a cop who should know better deserved.

Thoma said adios to his $91k paycheck when police Chief Anne Kirkpatrick balked at having a lawman around who couldn’t drive without having to blow-start his squad car.

The woman’s such an idealist.

Thoma, however, may have the last guffaw. Rather than enroll in bartender school, he hired a savvy lawyer and got a big-money, wrongful termination lawsuit going.

It’s the American Way!

But now a change in state law that has removed that pesky ignition lock restriction. And so the city has given an opportunity for the prodigal Thoma to come back. (Albeit to a lower-paying position.)

Well, why not.

It’s a New Year. I’m all for fresh beginnings.

I do, however, think that should Thoma return, he should at least have to carry a slightly altered legal preamble than the one that regular officers read when making an arrest.

You know, the Miranda Warning?

I give you the Thomanda Warning:

YOU have the right to remain silent.

(Of course, considering my history, it would be a lot less hypocritical if we just talked sports or politics for a while.)

ANYTHING you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

(Aw, don’t worry. I know from experience that you’ll be able to manipulate the system like a card shark with a marked deck.)

YOU have the right to speak to an attorney.

(You also have the right to speak to my AA sponsor, Bill. I’ve got his cell phone number somewhere in my wallet. Damn. Now where’d I put that thing?)

IF you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed for you.

(Or for a small finder’s fee, I’ll give you the name of the slug that helped me skate outta trouble.)

DO you understand these rights as they have been read to you?

(Aw, who am I to judge? How about I just let you go and we’ll forget the whole thing.)

Doug Clark is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review. He can be reached at (509) 459-5432 or by e-mail at dougc@spokesman.com.

19 comments on this story so far. Add yours!

lewis8457 on January 11 at 7:37 a.m.
What the heck do we really need law abiding police? Obviously no.
Are we safer with Thoma on the force or all the gun happy thugs that shoot people for holding rocks?
Safe that is a word with no meaning in Spokane.
Drink up everyone and get out there and drive!
John_Fever_Richmond on January 11 at 10:10 a.m.
Excellent role model, too bad they didn’t find some METH on him too when he was searched!!!
rterrylynch on January 11 at 11:27 a.m.
The system is broken. The ACLU has won. The police union has won. The public has LOST. Shameful doesn’t do it justice.
eatlotacheese on January 11 at 2:12 p.m.
Why wouldn’t there be accountability for the people who enforce the laws? Oh ya that would break union rules, and make the force look bad. Instead lets hire a guy back at reduced pay of 82,000 and lets call it a second chance.
Ed Byrnes on January 11 at 7:10 p.m.
To all of those posters who wrote in response to the story about the young woman who faces felony prison time for shoplifting that they would not want a shoplifter to ever be a teacher I have a question: How do you feel about a hit-and-run drunk driver being a police detective?
BitofBacon on January 11 at 8:04 p.m.
You guys must be the only 5 people that read the tripe from Doug Clark.
D Statler on January 11 at 8:18 p.m.
Make that SIX B-O-B. I LOVE YOU MR.CLARK! I am sure that 99% of taxpayers in this city feel the same way Doug does about bringing this guy back on the force. Doug might be the only one left on the Review staff with KA-HONIES big enough to say what he really feels.Who needs BACON anyways! LOL
bszottlinger on January 11 at 8:50 p.m.
Make that six bits!
bszottlinger on January 11 at 8:51 p.m.
Sorry, make that seven bits!
ChefGus/ John Olsen on January 11 at 9:15 p.m.
Eight….:))
BitofBacon on January 11 at 9:42 p.m.
Wow, a whole eight of you! Almost enough for a baseball team.
bszottlinger on January 11 at 10:14 p.m.
Don’t you count? That would make nine. I bit your a righty, and a swith hitter. What position do you prefer?
bszottlinger on January 11 at 10:16 p.m.
Sorry that should have been ** bet your a righty and a switch hitter**
lynnjohnson12 on January 12 at 12:42 a.m.
yes it is true you can save money on your auto insurance by making few simple changes search online for “Clearance Auto Insurance” you will be surprised
BitofBacon on January 12 at 7:52 a.m.
Brad,
I don’t read Mr. Clark anymore-he stopped being funny about 10 years ago.
bszottlinger on January 12 at 8:17 a.m.
Bits:
I guess we all have different ideas as to what is and isn’t humorous. I think I’m hilarious, but for some reason others do not. I kind of like a lot of his stuff. No question he takes some shots at the cops but the type of shots he takes aren’t going to cause anyone to shoot back, or at least I hope it won’t. It might cost him a ticket now and then, but I suspect he is used to that and it is one of the reasons he has decided to start riding his bicycle again. You have to lighten up, cops are going to be the brunt of jokes and criticisms for as long as we have them. I mean just take a look at the guy, and especially in that EWU band uniform, the poor guy probably never had a date in college and if you have ever heard him sing you know exactly what that Simon Cowell guy would say. Give him a break, he has to do something to try and gain some respect even it it’s just with the folks in lockup.
John_Fever_Richmond on January 12 at 3:57 p.m.
LOL Brad - You KNOW BitsofPig is a switch-hitter!!! LOL!!! I’m sure he likes to play catcher too!!!
BitofBacon on January 12 at 9:59 p.m.
Just the type of “humor” that one expects from readers of Clark.
Nice try-Fever
saveyourtatas on January 20 at 3:12 p.m.
Bacon does not seem Kosher today.

Doug Clark is one of the 5 best things in Spokane. Alongside Hoopfest/Bloomsday/Zags/OIS police who enjoy riddling mentally ill people with bulletts because they are holding a pepsi or a rock. OOPS, got off topic for a moment. Bonnie Mager was a good solid counter to the GOP contingent, but Doug is right. Libel is part of the game we know as “politics”. The intersection where politics meets law is strange. Tucker plays in that sandlot and Bonnie was never a fan of Tucker. If Bonnie Mager has too much free time on her hands, she should join a community group that looks into KillerCops like Hirzel, Torok and Thompson. Mager could lend some credibilty to the Center for Justice or any of the others (VOICES, PJALS, SPARC, or the aclu?). Al French libeling his opponent through email? No. I think he had many opportunities to do it through yard signs and billboards…websites…..columns….speeches. His supporters might have emailed something, but Al never did. I would not think so. He has always struck me as fair and ethical.