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Huckleberries: Economic times hardly comical

But outlook for ‘sexy’ Ben Stein improving

Somewhere between “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” in 1986 and Priest Lake in 2011, actor Ben Stein (boring economics teacher in “Bueller”) got sexy. At least, that’s the opinion of a coed Stein encountered during a recent North Idaho vacay with “pals” Ray and Jeannie Lucia and Jo and Susan Lucia. After touring Upper Priest Lake, Stein and the Lucias returned to Hill’s Resort, where Stein keeps his boat. Hundreds of college students greeted Stein, chanting: “Clear Eyes” and “Bueller, Bueller.” Then, Stein explains in an American Spectator column, “A pretty girl with an amazing tan and tattoos on her side just below her bikini top came up to me and whispered urgently, ‘I think you are sooo sexy. Can we hang out later tonight?’ ” She hugged Stein and was photographed with him, as the actor declined her invite, protesting weakly that he was “a fat old man.” But a counterman at Sandpoint’s Dairy Depot brought things back into perspective when he asked Stein: “Would you prefer I call you ‘Ben’ or ‘Mr. Stiller’?”

BYOB in Bayview

Henry Dean, new proprietor for Bayview’s Buttonhook restaurant, was resourceful while awaiting an overdue state liquor license. First, he arranged with building owner Chan Karupiah and JD’s Resort for a temporary banquet permit to serve liquor during Bayview Daze. Then, he found a loophole in Idaho law that allows alcoholic beverages to be served with meals – as long as no employee touches the bottles. You got it. It’s a BYOB situation. Dean’s readerboard advertises just that. Bayview newshound Herb Huseland explains that corkage fees are allowed in such situations, saying that it’s “only fair. After all, if drinking an alcoholic beverage is done on price only, everyone would drink at home.”

Poet’s Corner: “The times are tough,/the times are hard:/they won’t cut up/the credit card” – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“A Debt Ceiling Prediction”) … Last Monday, a Post Falls Blue warned his dispatcher that she might get calls regarding the packed house at the local 7-Eleven. Seems everyone wanted the free Slurpee being handed out as part of the chain’s 84th birthday … Scanner Traffic: Also on Monday, a Realtor reported from Burger Heaven in Rathdrum she’d been scared away from a Highway 53 property she was showing by a gun-waving neighbor. Which prompted a blog wag to offer this headline: “Man pulls gun, sends Realtor to Burger Heaven” … Terry Harris and his Kootenai Environmental Alliance crew found a label-size note taped to the office door when they arrived for work Monday: “Commie (expletive deleted).” Deadpanned Terry: “Better than a bullet hole, I guess” … Did you hear the one about the ex-Washington jailbird who visited Coeur d’Alene to drink because a condition of his probation didn’t allow him to drink in Washington? It didn’t make sense to the CPD Blues, either – you know, the ones who nabbed him for an open container in downtown Coeur d’Alene.

Parting shot

In the “Right Hand Doesn’t Know What the Left Hand Is Doing” category, the two green-and-white street signs at the intersection of Government Way and Lancaster in Hayden abbreviate Government Way different ways: “Govt Way” and “Gov’mt Way.” Too bad there isn’t room for compromise with “Gummint” – to honor the area’s rednecks.

You can follow D.F. Oliveria on his blog: blogs/hbo and on Twitter: #!/hucksonline.