‘Hobo’ cleans up the town, but the plot’s still a mess

“Hobo With a Shotgun” is neo-exploitation fare whose title says it all.

Born out of a grindhouse trailer contest co-sponsored by Robert Rodriguez, this grainy, grungy replication of the blood-splattered B’s of the ’60s and ’70s stars Rutger Hauer as a homeless guy who hops off a freight car and decides to clean the hellish place up.

“You can’t solve all the world’s problems with a shotgun,” Abby (Molly Dunsworth), the hooker with a heart of gold, cautions.

“It’s all I know,” Hauer’s hobo responds, stoic and grim.

And that’s pretty much all writer John Davies and director Jason Eisener seem to know, too. Because, after the gleefully sick opening 15 minutes – with Hauer pushing his shopping cart through the ironically named Hope Town; watching as The Drake (Brian Downey), a maniacal mob boss, deploys a razor-wire noose to decapitate some schmo; and witnessing The Drake’s twisted sons, Ivan (Nick Bateman) and Slick (Gregory Smith), gleefully terrorize what’s left of the populace – the concept quickly becomes redundant.

Hauer, the game Dutchman who has worked at the high and low ends of the movie biz (and all points between), keeps a straight face – well, a scowl, actually – as he moves through this mess.

All Mr. Hobo really wants is the lawn mower in the pawnshop, so he can start a one-man beautification program, but The Drake and his brood get in the way.

When Hauer’s gloomy-eyed antihero spots the double-barreled firearm in the store, he makes that purchase instead. Next thing you know, he’s a media star – the vagrant vigilante. (Tabloid headline: “Hobo Stops Begging, Demands Change.”)

The streetscapes are colorfully graffiti-smeared (“Satanic dystopia,” reads one tag), and the bad guys coked-up cartoons.

And if a bunch of annoying schoolkids roll up in a bus? Set ‘em on fire.