Dear Annie: How do you deal with a husband who thinks the world revolves around him? “Donald” always has to be the center of attention and makes sure he is in the spotlight at all times. People have told me he is spoiled and self-centered, which I already knew from many years of marriage.
Several years ago, I tried to improve my life by eating healthier, losing weight and being more active. I tried, unsuccessfully, to encourage Donald to join me. So I cooked healthier meals and tried to make gradual changes that seemed to work.
Now, Donald has health issues. Everything centers around what he needs. Suddenly exercise is a top priority. He informs me almost daily of how his nutritionist wants him to eat. If food isn’t prepared properly, seasoned just so and fresh each day, it will hurt his health. He claims he never eats in excess, yet he will grab candy bars and ice cream and think that’s perfectly fine.
Donald talks about his condition constantly to anyone who asks how he is. He delights in recounting all the details and expounds on his “excellent” performance in therapy and how hard he “pushes” himself at each workout.
Frankly, I am tired of it. He doesn’t care if I am sick as long as I still devote all my attention to him because he’s the most important person. He never says “please” or “thank you.” He just demands what he wants and loves being in total control.
I have no one to talk to in my small community. Where do I go from here? How do I continue to deal with Donald? – Why Is It Always About Him?
Dear Why: Someone as self-centered as Donald thinks he deserves to be treated like royalty and have his every move lauded. Many wives in your position would simply humor him and ignore the rest. If you cannot manage that, there are online counseling services available. Ask your doctor for a referral.