March 12, 2011 in Features

Husband makes it hard to be positive

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar
 

Dear Annie: One of my personal goals this year is to become a more positive person. A suggestion I’ve come across repeatedly is to surround myself with happy, positive people.

Unfortunately, the person I spend the most time with, my husband, is one of the most pessimistic people I know. There isn’t a single aspect of life in which he doesn’t see the negative. Even activities we used to enjoy have become a source of frustration when they don’t go exactly as planned.

I have tried to discuss this with him and have even taken on the household chores that he despises in an attempt to lower his stress levels. Nothing helps, and now I am physically and emotionally exhausted. It is difficult enough to keep myself energized and upbeat without having to constantly do the same for him.

I love him and don’t want to see our marriage fall apart, but I fear that if something doesn’t change soon, he is going to sink into a deep level of unhappiness and drag me along with him. What else can I do? – Positively Unhappy Wife

Dear Unhappy: Your husband sounds one step past curmudgeon. He may be depressed. Tell him he doesn’t seem to be enjoying his life, and ask him to make an appointment to talk about it with his doctor. He could use some help.

Dear Readers: Remember to set your clocks ahead before you go to sleep tonight. And please change the batteries in your smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.


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