The Slice: The cat is out of the bag; that dude is a treat dispenser

Let’s suppose it’s about a mile to your home from where you get off the bus in the afternoon.

And let’s further imagine you become acquainted with several cats that live along your route.

You might well have an idea: “Hey, maybe it would be fun to carry packets of Temptations brand cat treats – ‘Crunchy outside/Soft inside’ – and dispense edible surprises to felines.”

What could go wrong?

Well, here’s a starter list.

1. Strangers can stare at you as if they think you might be up to something.

2. At a certain corner one cat can become two and then, in a dizzying whirl of fur and meowing, six or seven. And suddenly the unmistakable vibe is “I recommend that you do not run out of treats there, chief.”

3. You can find yourself listening to the guy across the street from a particularly feline-infested property as he urges you take a few cats home.

4. If you are too slow with the dispensing and put your hand down too low during a feeding frenzy, this one white and brown longhair might sink a claw into your finger.

5. If you find that you are unable to open a new packet of treats on the spot and try to walk on, muttering your apologies, certain cats will all but tackle you by slaloming through your legs as you try to make your escape, forcing you to use a key to gouge a hole in the package and sprinkle out your ransom.

6. Your pre-snacks lecture about leaving birds alone will be greeted with some rude yawns.

7. This one white and gray cat will try to follow you home and you will have to use some fairly brusque language to discourage it. But only after a few more Temptations.

Slice answers: Ruth Gustafson said the biggest drawback to having a cell phone number with a nonlocal area code is that 911 calls go to operators far, far away. “But they’re happy to reroute you,” she said.

And in the matter of whether people trying to track down old classmates have ever contacted you because you have the same name, one reader’s answer was an emphatic “No.”

“I could only laugh when I saw that,” wrote Una Zeck.

Today’s Slice question: Who stabbed you in the back?