The Slice: Maybe it’s not my business

I don’t know what I’m talking about.

You see, I do not play golf.

But that doesn’t stop me from having a theory. It’s this: The national image of the game doesn’t really apply to our area.

That is, I don’t think Spokane-area golfers typically infuse round after round with client-schmoozing or conversations about prospective business deals.

Instead, most whack it around for fun, frustration and maybe a little inefficient exercise.

I base this partly on the fact that I know a few Spokane golfers. And some of them couldn’t talk about business even if you taped six buzzwords to their beer can.

Perhaps it would be possible to construct elaborate socioeconomic models explaining why local golfers are less likely than duffers in more affluent places to be engaged in deal-making while on the course. Or maybe it’s as simple as recognizing our area’s well-known commitment to leisure.

Face it. We have a lot of playaholics.

But I suspect the real answer might have something to do with the fact that many people here quickly grow weary of those who are constantly, relentlessly on the make.

So, if not business, what do Spokane-area golfers talk about during a round?

Here are my guesses.

25. International news. 24. Wish I knew then what I know now. 23. Customer service adventures. 22. Dental procedures. 21. The prospect of becoming a grandparent.

20. Airplanes. 19. Boats. 18. Evolving social norms. 17. Players’ kids who are touted to be world-beaters. 16. Players’ kids who haven’t quite found themselves.

15. Rumors about workplace affairs. 14. Remodeling. 13. Aging parents. 12. Books/ music. 11. The idiocy of people whose politics differ from those of the foursome.

10. Childhood sports heroes. 9. Movies. 8. Medical conditions. 7. Nightmare neighbors. 6. Food/fitness/weight control.

5. Divorce fallout. 4. Travel. 3. People who inspire lust. 2. TV shows. 1. Bargains.

But of course, those are just guesses. If you are an actual golfer, feel free to set me straight.

Today’s Slice question: If people knew that you spend (    ) hours a day (    ), they would be tempted to say “Get a life!”