May 5, 2011 in Features

Annie’s Mailbox: Husband escapes through computer

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My husband of two years is constantly playing a computer game. When “Jon” comes home from work, he eats dinner and then sits in his recliner with his computer until he falls asleep. He’ll then get up in the middle of the night to sleep in the guest room. I’m eight weeks pregnant, and he says he doesn’t want to wake me, but he’s been doing this for months. On weekends, he’s online from the time he gets home until late at night. We have a 3-year-old son, who craves his father’s attention.

I’ve told him I wish he would cut back on his computer time, but he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. If I plan a family night out, he’d rather stay home. We also have virtually no sex life (his choice), and he occasionally visits porn sites.

The other day, he left our house to help a friend move a piano and came home 12 hours later, drunk. His phone had conveniently died, so I was not able to reach him. He sees nothing wrong with this behavior. Please help me convince him that something needs to change. – Desperate for Family Time

Dear Desperate: Your husband sounds just as unhappy as you. The computer, the drinking, the time helping friends are his way of escaping his responsibilities at home and avoiding the conflicting thoughts he associates with having a second child. Ask your doctor or pediatrician to refer you to a counselor who will help the two of you work through this.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Love My In-Laws, But,” who invited her husband’s parents for dinner, but didn’t expect them to eat all the food.

I have a suggestion for her: Serve snacks or appetizers before dinner. That way the guests she invited will fill up on other things and not eat all the good stuff. Or, she can stop inviting people for dinner, and then they can have all the food for themselves. Problem solved. – Speechless

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