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The Slice: This kid’s living the high life

Sun., May 8, 2011

Sometimes children have the answers.

In the course of teaching them a song from the islands, music teacher Tamara Schupman asked some kindergartners at Regal Elementary School to tell her what they knew about Hawaii.

“Hands shot up in the air,” she said.

One kid mentioned dolphins. Another named pineapples. Hula dancers and palm trees also came up.

“I thought that was all pretty good for 5-year-olds,” said Schupman.

Yeah, not bad. But one little boy offered a perspective that clearly didn’t come from books or TV. This lad knew what he was talking about.

What does Hawaii have?

“Beaches and room service,” he said.

Modern Problems Department: “Mailed a sympathy card this morning,” wrote Linda Rise. “Only had ‘USA Go Green’ stamps. Didn’t know whether to use ‘Recycle more,’ ‘Turn off lights not in use,’ ‘Compost’ or ‘Let nature do the work.’ ”

One week later: Darlyne Lamb offers a Spokane haiku.

Hurrah! Bloomsday shirt

Soon to languish in a drawer

With its forerunners

Just wondering: If you had an acre for every church candle you have lit, how much land would you own?

Signs that you are getting weird about dandelions: 1. You swear you can hear them laughing at night.

2. You mutter like Carl the groundskeeper in “Caddyshack.”

3. You expect your neighbors to share your obsession.

4. When pulling a big one out of the ground, you bellow, stomp and, in mock horror, hold the root aloft in the manner of a theatrical pro wrestler pretending to have yanked out one of his opponent’s eyes.

Discuss among yourselves: 1. The former Spokane TV news anchor you miss most. 2. Your grandfather who purports to be a rabid fan of the Constitution but still thinks the military coup-plot in “Seven Days in May” sounded like a good idea. 3. Asparagus syndrome. 4. Are magazines soon to be a thing of the past in waiting rooms as more people prefer to fool around on their phones?

Today’s Slice question: How would Mother’s Day be different if it had been invented in Spokane?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; email Email/texting has made people fighting with their spouses while at work quieter at least.

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