May 21, 2011 in Features

News of grandpa’s death posted on Facebook bugs dad

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I’m 20 years old, and lately, I’ve been catching a lot of criticism about my Facebook page.

My grandfather passed away, and I updated my status to say that he is loved and deeply missed. People offered condolences and support. My father thought it was wrong for people to find out on Facebook. But, Annie, people read obituaries in the local newspaper and find out that way, too.

I feel I should be allowed to post whatever I want. I know this is a generational difference, but it’s causing a lot of problems. Please help. – Trying To Keep the Peace

Dear Trying: We think your father is objecting less to Facebook and more to the fact that his father died. Online postings from family members strike him as impersonal and too public, and therefore disrespectful. Assure him that you loved your grandfather and find it comforting to share your grief with your friends. Perhaps it would help if you showed him some of the words of condolence that others have posted. As long as your posts are not vulgar or inappropriately intimate, we see no reason to make an issue of this.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

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