Not OK to meet ex-boss for lunch

Dear Annie: A few years ago, I had a one-night stand with my married boss while attending a work-related seminar in another town. On the third evening, we had dinner and drinks, and one thing led to another. We had always been attracted to each other, and co-workers noticed all the flirting.

We resumed our work relationship, although we stopped having occasional lunches together like we used to. He told me once that what we did was wrong, and it took him a long time to get past the guilt. Apparently, his wife always suspected that we were more than co-workers.

My boss retired two years ago, but I can’t seem to stop missing him, thinking about him and wondering what’s happening in his life. I’d like to get in touch with him again, just as a friend, and ask if he’s free for lunch. I know he would not be able to tell his wife about it, but I’m not out to make trouble in his marriage. I haven’t seen my boss since he retired, and I don’t see why having lunch would be wrong. We could catch up on office news. That one-night fling just happened. He apparently regrets it. I don’t.

My husband never asks questions about the seminars I attend, the people I work with or whether I am attracted to other men. I sometimes wish he were more jealous. I need a neutral person to tell me it’s OK to get in touch with my former boss. What’s the harm in an innocent lunch date between two good friends? – Hesitant

Dear Hesitant: Who are you trying to kid? This isn’t “innocent.” You slept with this man. You are still attracted to him. You would be concealing the lunch from his wife. And you want to make your husband jealous. It is obvious that you are looking to rekindle your romance. It’s not OK. Leave the guy alone already.