Count New York Times columnist Gail Collins among those who were disappointed when New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and ex-Alaska Gov. (and Sandpoint native) Sarah Palin decided not to run for president. But it’s not what you think. Collins shivers at the thought of 13 months of boredom watching President Barack Obama and GOP front-runner Mitt Romney run against each other. So Collins proposed that Idaho Gov. Clement Leroy (Butch) Otter – or some other GOP guv from a state few Easterners know – run for president. Collins admits her reason for pushing Butch begins with his name. She likes to say it. She brushes aside the fact that Butch has already endorsed Mitt, noting that political betrayal is entertaining during a presidential race. Sorta like “Hunger Game for pacifists,” she sez. Collins has another reason to want Butch to toss his Stetson in the ring: “I have never been to Idaho, so I would like that very much.” At least she knows the difference between Idaho and Iowa. Methinks.
Here comes Moscow
You may know that 4A Moscow High considered forfeiting its football game with No. 1-ranked 5A Coeur d’Alene High on Friday, for safety’s sake. But did you know that Vik Booster Club prez Chris Costa didn’t win friends and influence people in Moscow by producing a Top 10 Lettermanesque list early last week? It was titled: “Top 10 reasons why Moscow decided not to forfeit the game.” An errant email made its way to Huckleberries HQ. Reasons included: “Nothing else to do that weekend, most of the players already got their elk.” And: “Just got beat by Bonners Ferry (14-7) how could it get any worse?” And: “Want to see if they can beat Sandpoint’s record of points allowed (88).” The No. 1 reason? “They think they are coming to Coeur d’Alene to play Lake City.” Not every day you can poke two Vik foes with one Top 10 item.
Poet’s Corner: “To have you Pac-12/is a treat –/the Cougs need more teams/They can beat” – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“Welcome, Colorado Buffaloes”) … Still trying to figure out why Hayden City Council wannabe Kris LaMarr refused to tell the Coeur d’Alene Press that he is Mayor Ron McIntire’s son-in-law. The Eastern Washington transplant would only disclose that he knew the mayor. Hmm … Cis Gors of Kootenai, a Sandpoint “suburb,” doesn’t need fancy-schmancy weather equipment to tell her that another colder, snowier winter is en route. Cis tells Huckleberries: “I figured it was going to be bad. Hornets are nesting in the ground. Usually means bad winter” … You couldn’t miss what that drunk in downtown Coeur d’Alene thought about his booze buds – you know, the guy crossing Fourth and Sherman with his pants pulled down intentionally to expose his butt to them.
Howard Martinson of Fresh Start agrees that Catholic padre Roger LaChance’s animal blessing (13th annual Kootenai Human Society pet blessing) is silly. But so what? “Having pets is silly,” he tells Huckleberries. “Having our gas-hog boat and our gas-hog pickup are silly also. Thank goodness we have some silliness in our lives.” Bingo.