October 13, 2011 in City

Clark: Soapy sales help cleanse dirty dilemma

Doug Clark The Spokesman-Review

Tags:Cascadedishwasher detergentenvironmentphosphatePhosphates

By now just about everyone is familiar with the Internet’s many pitfalls.

The hateful speech from no-name cowards. The shocking websites and scam letters.

The insidious onslaught of Condon for Mayor emails …

Sure, I could go on and on. But my goal isn’t to turn your stomachs.

My aim today is to praise the World Wide Web for what it does so wonderfully well.

And that is to connect a needy consumer with goods and services that may not be available in his more narrow-minded neck of the woods.

The virtue of online capitalism became apparent early Tuesday evening, when a delivery guy rapped on my front door after leaving a package on the porch.

Christmas in October!

I lugged the carton over to my coffee table and sliced it open with a pocketknife. Inside were the items I had ordered over the weekend:

Six 85-ounce boxes of phosphate-enriched Cascade dishwasher detergent.

“So clean, it’s virtually spotless,” boasted a bit of text on the label.

Oh, baby.

Now I don’t want to be greedy.

So in the biblical spirit of dividing the loaves and fishwiches, I am going to give away one box from the Clark Cascade Cache.

All you must do is convince me of your phosphate worthiness.

(Contact me via the information below. Tell me why you’d love some of my soap. Remember to leave your name and a phone number so I can give you the blessed news.)

Yeah, I know what’s coming.

My last Cascade giveaway was branded as an act of terrorism by eco-twerps who don’t believe in an individual’s freedom of bleach.

Thanks to these killjoys, phosphate-enhanced dish soap is all but impossible to find.

Stores can’t sell it. Wholesalers don’t carry it.

Even the crack dealers are afraid to sell it.

Driving to Idaho used to work, but even that once-bountiful source has dried up.

The phosphate fear has spread faster than a swine flu pandemic.

Phosphates have been banned for being bad for the environment, which is absurd.

Cascade classic is a green product – just look at the color of the box.

Fortunately I knew this was coming and, like a survivalist, planned ahead.

The Clark crockery has been sparkly clean thanks to the half-dozen boxes of Cascade that I bought in a Post Falls grocery store back in 2009.

Sure, I could have bought the eco-friendly gunk and settled for dubious results.

But here’s the thing. I don’t like having my life regulated by agenda-driven know-it-alls.

Maybe it’s just the way I’m wired. But if the government suddenly outlawed vegetarianism, I’d be up to my tonsils in tofu.

But getting back to Cascade, last week I realized I was down to my final 60-ounce box.

Panic began to set in until I remembered the message one of my readers left on my voice mail. She told me about this detergent source she had found on the Web.

So I began my own e-search. A few minutes later, I was perusing www.restockit.com.

Six big boxes of Cascade for under 55 bucks.

Free shipping, to boot.

Isn’t the Internet great?

Doug Clark can be reached at (509) 459-5432 or dougc@spokesman.com.

20 comments on this story so far. Add yours!

riverlaw on October 13 at 7:37 a.m.
So Doug, hate the river? Too lazy to do your part? You must be an environmentalist because you seem to be constantly recycling this same old story.
soccermomsusie on October 13 at 7:45 a.m.
Doug, Excellent!
I think I might have you beat, however.
I have a case of Tab downstairs with cyclamates.
Have cut out all the seatbelts on the Hummer and removed the catholic converter.
I feed my used motor oil to the Insidious Aquifer.
Hubby mows the lawn wearing flipflops and then throws the clippings into the street.
I make sure Maxie (pitbull-poodle hybrid) takes her constitutional every morning on the neighbor’s lawn.
Last year, removed some planking from neighbor’s wheelchair ramp for yule log.
Hot days, I hand out Manito Pond water to quench thirst of unsuspecting runners.
Light up at baptisms (one of the few times I smoke).
I think you better try a little harder!
HEAR OUR VOICE!!!
SpokaneCan on October 13 at 8:32 a.m.
I am with riverlaw. must have been a busy day, since you didnt have time to write anything new or even useful.
bartm on October 13 at 8:44 a.m.
Let’s all take Doug up on his offer to contact him.
Please take a few minutes to call or email him (509) 459-5432 or dougc@spokesman.com and tell him:
“I appreciate the attempts taken in our state to limit excessive phosphorus from entering the Spokane River. I value a cleaner Spokane River and a healthier community.”
Bart Mihailovich
Spokane Riverkeeper
bart@cforjustice.org
Loudin on October 13 at 8:48 a.m.
Have you seen Doug’s waistband? If you ate as much as he did, this might be a serious issue for you too…
Seriously: This “story” has been hashed & rehashed several times by both Doug & others. If you miss phosphates in your soap, move to China or one of the “Borat” countries…you know, where river stewardship is as popular as anti-smoking laws (note: I guess that could apply to Idaho too).
Loudin
PS: Why do people whine so much about such relatively minor issues in life? Suck it up…
mthunderjet on October 13 at 9:23 a.m.
I for one do not believe in man-made global warming and similar BS. I do, however, believe in managing our resources. Clean water, both surface and groundwater need to be protected witht he utmost urgency. I cannot believe Doug’s ignorance and use of phosphates as if it is no big deal and personal preference. Phosphates, CLEAR SCIENCE, has shown serious problems particularly in surface water. Pull your head out Doug….or go gorge yourself on a platter of cheeseburgers and hurry the heart attack up….
Jamber on October 13 at 9:39 a.m.
Doug, perhaps you may consider that aiding and abetting illegal importation and use of phosphates is a matter of conscience, as well as science? If you can’t live without your dish soap, buy it and keep it to yourself (and out of my river, please). It’s not cool. It just sounds like the arguments of kids who break laws. Is every petty act of rebellion is some sort of fight for freedom?
AngryNIdaho on October 13 at 10:15 a.m.
No phosphates in Idaho anymore? Why DID NOBODY TELL ME?
MrNatural on October 13 at 10:32 a.m.
The Spokesman Review
To Whom It May Concern
I must express my deep resentment against this moronic tripe from Mr. Clark which in your puzzling wisdom allowed to be published. When so many Spokane citizens are making such an earnest effort to preserve and protect the Spokane River and trying to impress upon our next generations the value of clean water and when your own subsidiary Inland Empire Paper works toward compliance to the phosphorus discharge TMDL you allow this boorish moron space to flaunt his civil disobedience. It is beyond my level of understanding when so many good citizens are working so hard to protect the Spokane River-Our River that you incessantly give this moron a bully pulpit for its appeal to brainstem users who will use the link provided to order said phosphate detergent.
As for the inference of no name cowards you will know my name soon enough in a letter to the editor which I am preparing to express my contempt for this stupid act and in addition after 30 + years of patronage I will be cancelling my subscription and will suggest other do likewise as a matter of principle. I can no longer stomach such hypocrisy and moronic stupidity from this “good paper”.
My sincere apologies to my delivery man.
bartm on October 13 at 10:36 a.m.
I did tell you AngryNIdaho:
Here’s a blog post I did on this subject a while back:
http://cforjustice.org/2011/02/16/mythbuster/
Bart Mihailovich
Spokane Riverkeeper
bart@cforjustice.org
Bruce (aka thatoneguy) on October 13 at 11:00 a.m.
Hey, guess what. Safeway-brand (i.e. cheap-o) phosphate-free dishwasher gel detergent WORKS JUST AS WELL AS CASCADE. (This is coming from a lifelong Cascade user.) Probably all the generic brands are identical.
If you’re looking for something that conforms to the law, isn’t super expensive, and WORKS, it’s an option.
If you plan to go ahead ordering phosphate-rich detergent from out of state because you’ll be damned if the government can tell you what to do with your dishes, then … well OK. Congratulations on making your point.
RedCedar on October 13 at 11:09 a.m.
I suppose it’s always exciting for people with a boring life to take a little walk on the wild side by buying something that is technically illegal. Most of us make do with good fireworks and cheap smokes from the Indians, but if contraband soap is your thing, well… at least that’s uncommon. Personally I wash my dishes by hand using whatever detergent was on sale, so I can’t get too worked up about the phosphate ban. On the other hand, I’ve been hoarding three unopened quarts of genuine Dutch Boy high-lead white paint for years. They’re made by the U.S.Lead company and you can tell by the weight it’s not your modern latex glop. Maybe I should put a quart on ebay and see if there’s somebody somewhere who would be as thrilled about finding genuine high-lead paint as Mr Clark was about finding genuine high-phosphate soap.
jddavis on October 13 at 11:49 a.m.
Doug really got people fired up today! I am guessing that was his intent…
riverlaw on October 13 at 12:22 p.m.
Thanks for the tip Doug:
Dear ReStockIt.com:
Today, a writer for a paper in Spokane, the Spokesman Review, reported that you are engaged in the sale of dishwasher detergent containing phosphorus (in the amount above 0.5 percent or more phosphorus by weight) to residents in the State of Washington. As you may or may not know, such sales are unlawful pursuant to RCW 70.95L.020. As a resident of a community impacted by excessive phosphorus in our river, I request that you act in accordance with state law.
I appreciate your prompt attention to this matter.
AngryNIdaho on October 13 at 12:27 p.m.
Thanks @bartm, but I DO NOT READ BLOGS! I am now VERY CONCERNED about my dishes.
MrNatural on October 13 at 1:56 p.m.
Well…just as you should never go food shopping when you are hungry I should never write a retort when I’m angry.
Spokesman…this was truly bad form. Doug…try thinking a little deeper on the consequences of your actions.
let_jani_in_please on October 13 at 2:34 p.m.
There is something sordid about giving the pulpit to someone so disrespectful as Doug Clark can be sometimes. I know he may have been ordered to write another one of these columns to boost subscription rates by outraging people into augmented and passionate readership, but really. For the newspaper serving intelligent readers in big chunks of three states to flout the law and scoff at policy that was hard-earned by hundreds of Spokane people who want to protect the Spokane River is just embarrassing. If I were thinking of living here and I read the paper and saw that, I’d cringe and turn my attention (and money) to Portland. I wouldn’t buy a house here, I wouldn’t start my business here, and I wouldn’t subscribe to the paper that printed that. But that’s just me.
Jani Gilbert
meadman on October 13 at 4:37 p.m.
Clark is a reason I canceled my subscription over a year ago
greenlibertarian on October 13 at 9:11 p.m.
It pretty easy to augment dishwasher and laundry detergent so they work a little better. About 2 cents worth of baking soda usually does the trick.
I don’t want to open a can of worms, but it seems to me the phosphate is only an issue in the river in the late summer and fall, when flow levels drop very low, is that a fair statement?
dbraun on October 15 at 9:37 a.m.
Since when did being controversial or walking the journalistic “bad boy” line equate to spouting just plain dumbness? Maybe it is just the way you are “wired”, but your stance is sophomoric and irresponsible. Who’s the “twerp”?