Arrow-right Camera
Subscribe now

This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

The Slice: Playing this fall: Man vs. nature

Puttering in the backyard and garage can achieve an exalted status at this time of year.

That’s because winter is coming.

Sure, to the untrained eye, it might look like a guy is simply doing a remarkably inefficient job of draining a garden hose. But really, he is engaged in the critical business of getting ready. He is hunkering down.

“What’s he doing back there?”

“Getting ready for winter.”

“What? Looks to me like he’s just fooling around.”

“Oh, no. What you are seeing is Man vs. The Elements. It’s all about survival. Girding our loins, et cetera.”

“Oh.”

You could argue that April yard work and various spring cleanup chores are necessary. But really, what’s the worst that would happen if you skipped all that?

Your place would look a little unkempt. Big deal.

But fail to attend to the chores of autumn and, well, you would be taking a chance.

The act of putting foam covers over outdoor faucets might not look especially heroic. But, in truth, reducing the likelihood of burst pipes is a serious task for serious people.

“What’s he doing now?”

“He’s bravely facing the horizon, somber in the certain knowledge that a storm’s coming — yet confident that his steely resolve will stand us in good stead. He’s taking the measure of the season headed our way. And he’s inviting Old Man Winter to bring it on.”

“Oh. I thought he was leaning on his rake and drinking a beer.”

“That, too.”

Many of the outdoor tasks to which one attends in spring and summer are really almost recreational in nature.

But come fall, there’s a certain implied honor about horsing around in the backyard. There’s a sense of foreboding. Would it be too much to suggest that it might be appropriate for parts of the “Dances With Wolves” soundtrack (or maybe the music from the 1989 version of “Henry V”) to play as storm windows are inserted and duct tape is placed over air leaks?

“What’s he doing now?”

“He’s giving the dog a belly rub.”

“Preparation for winter?”

“Not really. But it couldn’t hurt.”

Today’s Slice question: Who lives under the flight path of the most air traffic?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. You don’t need no stinkin’ badges to check out The Slice Blog at www.spokesman.com. Rolf Harris appeared at Expo ’74.

More from this author