The Slice: Time to hit the button and launch this party

Spokane ought to be a hotbed of Cuban Missile Crisis re-enactors.

People hear the word “re-enactment” and think of Civil War buffs. But why should that conflict get all the attention?

We’re a long way from Shiloh and Gettysburg. But the presence of Fairchild Air Force Base put this area on the front lines, more or less, of what has been called “the most dangerous moment in history.”

Sure, a lot of the action might be set in the other Washington. And it would involve wearing suits, sitting around conference tables and gesturing instead of running across open fields in period costumes. Still, acting out the tense highlights of that October in 1962 would seem to have built-in appeal.

Someone would get to play John F. Kennedy. That person would take a stab at the president’s hair and accent. He could spend a lot of time looking gravely concerned.

He might even improvise. “Marilyn Monroe? On the phone right now? Sheesh. Kind of busy here. Tell her I’ll call back.”

There would be a perfect role for a re-enactor who does not have an abundance of hair, that of Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev. Maybe we could even enlist a few of our community’s numerous Russian-speakers.

Someone could portray hawkish Air Force General Curtis LeMay. Every few minutes, he could chime in with “I say we go ahead and bomb them now.”

“But the naval blockade appears to be working.”

“Who cares? They’re Commies! I say bomb ’em.”

And so on.

A local flavor could be achieved by portrayals of B-52 crews and ICBM silo teams.

“Have we received the order to launch?”

“Any minute now. Are you going to finish that sandwich?”

OK, not everyone would get a kick out of pretending to inspect reconnaissance photos or heatedly debating the merits of back-channel negotiations. And there would not be many choice roles for women.

But Cuban Missile Crisis re-enactments would have one big plus.

A happy ending.

Today’s Slice question: Assuming for a moment that you do not do 100 percent of the cooking in your household … what breakfast-preparation sound or aroma is most certain to get you out of bed?