Middle-age crisis can ruin marriage

Dear Annie: I discovered that my 55-year-old husband of 35 years was texting, calling and receiving calls from a 27-year-old woman for a period of nine weeks. Sometimes there were 200 texts in a day. I’m pretty sure she was sexting him, but I can’t prove it.

When I confronted him, I discovered he was also having breakfast, lunch and dinner with her and sometimes going to her apartment for coffee. Even if there was no sex involved, it was wrong. I was sad, angry and devastated. We talked about it, and he mentioned some things he needed me to change, and I agreed. He says he never touched her and promised to stop contacting her altogether.

Six months later, I found out she was still calling him. They also went shopping together, and she was seen in his car. He still says he didn’t do anything wrong because there was no sex. I am beside myself. I am living with a liar.

I love my husband and want to stay married. He says the same, but how can we stay together when he won’t take responsibility for what he has done? He’s also grossly overweight and bald. But he’s financially successful, and this woman has money problems.

Please tell me how to get through to him. – Want Her Out of Our Lives

Dear Want: You assume that this woman is only interested in your bald, overweight husband because of his money. You could be right. But he is interested in her for other reasons, and that is what you need to address. He is besotted and has no intention of leaving her alone. Even a temporary midlife crisis can damage your marriage permanently. Get some counseling – with or without him – and figure out your next step.