The Slice: Fool me once, shame on … Ward Cleaver?


It’s April Fools’ Day.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

But how will you be able to tell if someone is pulling your leg today?

Well, for starters, you can assume it’s a joke if anyone says …

“Hey, honey, come outside and check this out. I was digging in the garden and, well, I’m pretty sure I have partially unearthed a mammoth.”

“Mom, Dad, when’s dinner tonight? I want to make sure I get home in time.”

“Where are my neckties? I’m going to start dressing like Ward Cleaver at home.”

“Hey, look – all the commenters trying to sound tough on www.spokesman.com appear to be using their real names.”

“Let’s give camping another try.”

“Here’s a story in the paper where a hockey team’s owner admits they continue to allow fighting because it sells tickets.”

“It’s Stephanie Vigil on the phone. She says you borrowed some yard tools.”

“How about if we invite your brother in Portland to come for another visit? I’d like to hear more of his insights about Spokane’s shortcomings.”

“Hey, here’s a letter to the editor about guns that appears to have been written by someone who isn’t a patient at Eastern State Hospital.”

“The Idaho Legislature passed a bill repealing the ’60s.”

“Ever tell you about the time I got high with that novelist, Jess Walter, when we were students at Eastern?”

“Condon wants to change the spelling to S-p-o-c-a-n.”

“Well, if the other teens text while driving I guess it must be OK.”

“I’m getting the band back together.”

“It says here that a police union spokesman has admitted that many of those attracted to law enforcement work have the exact wrong kind of personality and an obsession with mustaches.”

“Apparently Expo ’74 never really happened. I guess real estate agents living here at the time made up the story in 1975 as a way to attract Californians. All a big conspiracy.”

“The tunnel between Airway Heights and Post Falls is just about complete.”

“The Zags signed a recruit who is 8 feet tall. But I guess she’s slow.”

“I’m heading out to go door-to-door and ask everyone in the neighborhood to try xeriscaping.”

Today’s Slice question: How did you get fooled on April 1?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Memorial Day weekend is next month.

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