April 16, 2012 in Features

Miss Manners: FB may tell us more than we need

Judith Martin Universal Uclick
 

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I was a child, I was taught that it was in poor taste to talk about private parties and other invitation-only events in a group when not everyone was invited.

I find that this is not true anymore. I have a very loud acquaintance who wishes for everyone to know what she is up to. And I enjoy Facebook for keeping in touch with friends and relatives from far away. But when my local friends post public thank-yous on their FB walls to folks who gave parties I was not even invited to, I feel a bit slighted. These are local friends who requested to add me to their list of friends – intimating that they wanted to keep in touch with me.

Is this the new norm? Should I ignore these posts? Should I join in the fray? Should I make judicious cuts to my list of Facebook friends? In short, in this time of Internet manners, what’s a properly brought-up lady to do?

GENTLE READER: It is still in poor taste. But perhaps you have noticed that there is quite a lot of poor taste material on the Internet, which people post about themselves and others.

They have become their own paparazzi. Everybody can know what just about everyone else is doing pretty much all the time. Among other things one doesn’t need to know, this reveals the fact that everyone is not invited to everything.

A proper lady does not accept a new “norm” that is basically inconsiderate of others just because it has become common. But Miss Manners would also expect her to pity people who don’t know the right way to thank their hosts or to share their activities, and ignore what should not have been intended for her eyes.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@ gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


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